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its getting bad again i think - August 4th 2018, 03:49 AM

i know I have alot of good ppl in my life but i feel so alone. my eating disorder is in full swing lately and idk if thats why. me and my boyfriend are growing apart and idk what to do. its mostly my fault bc im pushing him away. advice plzz.
   
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Re: its getting bad again i think - August 5th 2018, 09:36 PM

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so. Eating disorders are a very serious illness and when one is in full swing it's hard to feel close and connected to the people we care about. I don't know your situation but, as someone who has an eating disorder, I would imagine that your hunch that it's your disorder that's pushing you away from the people you love is probably accurate.

I don't know whether you want help for your eating disorder or not, but the first thing to do is reestablish connections with loved ones. It can feel like you're drowning sometimes when you're struggling with mental illness but it's important to reach out. People can't know your struggles if you don't say anything. I suggest going to your boyfriend and telling him you feel a distance lately. Let him know you're struggling and ask what the two of you can do together to fix the situation as a team. Partnership is all about functioning as a team, and that's how y'all will get through this. Hopefully he'll be receptive and willing to work with you.

I would also suggest letting go of the idea of "fault." You're suffering. Maybe you had a part to play in the rift between you and your boyfriend but blaming yourself for it isn't going to do any good. It only serves to fuel self-hatred, which will drive you further down into your disorder. I suggest trying to treat yourself with compassion. Try being a friend to yourself, cut yourself some slack. I know firsthand how hard that can be but things get a little easier when you're able to show some compassion towards yourself.

Good luck and feel free to PM me if you need anything.


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