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SomeGuy03 Offline
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I don't know what to do anymore - September 26th 2018, 08:29 PM

I've spoken about this before and I'm so sad and depressed.

I'm a 14 male with anxiety issues. I had a time when i was into bdsm. But i couldn't accept liking it because the thought of liking it felt really wrong. Now i want nothing to do with it. The stuff i looked at was just wrong to me and I'm a total creep for looking at it. My mum thought i was just looking at porn and told me to stop. So i did but the guilt kept me sad. Everywhere i went i kept reminding myself of what i had looked at. Like in movies if someone was tied up it would send me into a panic. I'm even freaked out when I'm sexually attracted and I constantly feel like a creep. I told mum I'm always sexually attracted and she just said that was normal. I've talked to my friend and he tried but i can't accept the help for some reason. This has all happened because i have a crippling masturbation addiction that i can't stop. I want help so bad but i cant tell anyone the full story. I don't see a way out and I'm losing my sanity.
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Heathen Offline
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore - September 26th 2018, 08:50 PM

First of all, welcome to TeenHelp. I'm glad you feel comfortable reaching out. This is a safe place and we're here to help you.

I want to stress something very important: there is NOTHING wrong with liking BDSM. When practiced in safe, healthy ways it's entirely based on enthusiastic consent with stringent safety practices in place. It is a beneficial and satisfying experience for all of those involved. Of course even the best scenes can go wrong sometimes, but they're sorted through with clear communication, compassion, and understanding. My point is, this is a perfectly natural and healthy thing that many, many people are interested in and you are not bad or wrong for liking it. As long as the things that appeal to you are consensual. I see no problem with being interested in it or fantasizing about it.

In addition, you're not a "creep" for having sexual urges. Most people experience sexual urges at some point in their lives. It's natural to lust after people we find attractive, even to fantasize about them. That doesn't make you bad or wrong as long as you are not making untoward advances or violating someone's consent. If you can respect someone's boundaries and respect when they say "no" you're probably fine.

As for your masturbation addiction, I would consider looking at why you find the compulsive need to masturbate. Is it just an addiction to the sensation, or is it filling some need in your life? If it's filling some need in your life, or masking a feeling of some sort, I would suggest trying to find healthy ways to fill that need or feel those feelings. You say you struggle with anxiety- maybe it's a way to cope with that. There are other tools you can use to handle anxiety, if that's something you're interested in. If it's about the sensation, I would suggest gradually reducing the amount of time you spend masturbating and finding other sensations you find pleasurable that are non-sexual, like playing with silly putty or a stress ball, or maybe touching a worry stone. These might help.

Good luck, and feel free to PM me if you need anything else.

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