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Exclamation 8 years ago. (TRIGGERING - SUICIDE ATTEMPT) - January 6th 2019, 07:05 AM

This thread has been labeled as non-PG13 by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for younger users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

On the 6th of January 2011, I let the darkness of the world overwhelm me. To the point that I didn't want to be here anymore. So, I did the unthinkable and made the attempt to leave this world... What saved me was a short time later, it hit me what I had done. And I realized that I really didn't want to leave this world. I wanted to stay in it. So I moved quickly into my parent's room. Immediately we were rushing to the ER, and I don't remember that car ride at all. That entire experience, all of the parts that I remember, is still to this day one of the scariest times in my life.

When I became more alert and actually knew what was going on, the doctor on my case came to visit me, and the sentence he said made me realize how close I came to death. He told me if I hadnít gotten to the ER when I did, I wouldnít have made itÖI would have died the next morning. The next few days were a blur of IVs, doctors coming and going, and constant blood draws vitals and the noises of the machines. The one thing that really sticks in my mind was watching my heart monitor going from very slow and speeding up within minutes, and then jumping back down. I felt so scared. If I hadn't gotten to the hospital when I did, I wouldn't be here now. After I was well enough physically, I was moved up to the psychiatric ward. Now that in and of itself is pretty terrifying. I still was physically recovering from my overdose so that made more work for me; since it wasn't only my mind that needed the help.

That experience truly changed my life. And the one thing that I will always remember, years later, is that it wasn't the doctors and the staff that really helped me. But the other patients, hearing their experiences, and hearing their coping skills. And realizing that I wasn't alone, that I could fight this.

I consider myself extremely lucky to have survived my attempt and to have experienced so many wonderful things since then. I hope to never sink that low again, but I have a wonderful support system. Filled with amazing friends, amazing family, a husband that I can't imagine life without; and my wonderful son.I have experienced so much in my life, and have had many adventures. And I have so much more to do and see.

To anyone that is struggling tonight, you are here for a reason. Things may be tough, but you can get through it. Talk to your friends and your family. Talk to anyone you trust. And always say ''I love you''. You never know when it'll be the last time. Don't give up. Suicide isn't the answer, never will be. Please take my experience and learn from it. Never give up.

"All of life is a coming home. Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home. It's hard to describe what I felt like then. Picture yourself walking for days in the driving snow; you don't even know you're walking in circles. The heaviness of your legs in the drifts, your shouts disappearing into the wind. How small you can feel, and how far away home can be."
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Re: 8 years ago. (TRIGGERING - SUICIDE ATTEMPT) - January 6th 2019, 07:32 PM

So sorry to hear how low you felt in 2011. I'm so glad that you got help at the right time and made it through. Not only that, but how life has improved for you and you have experienced many great things. You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story with us

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Feel free to PM me! Even if I canít help, Iím always going to listen <3

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Noire Offline
When is the future?
Jeez, get a life!
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Re: 8 years ago. (TRIGGERING - SUICIDE ATTEMPT) - January 6th 2019, 10:06 PM

I had a suicide attempt in 2011, too. It was a rough year for me. I am happy to hear that not only have you survived yours, but you've managed to thrive in the following years, and even start a family. That's amazing! I hope your life continues to be full of good things and you continue to help others by sharing your story. Thank you!

Love joins
Love unites
Love breaks us apart
The power to conquer here in our hearts
Enduring and sacred
Eternal as time
For love, love alone will conquer all

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Re: 8 years ago. (TRIGGERING - SUICIDE ATTEMPT) - January 6th 2019, 11:57 PM

This is beautiful, Sarah! I'm so glad that you got help and are okay. I'm really sorry that you had to go through that, but it also sounds like you've learned a lot from it and like you've had so many incredible experiences since then! That's absolutely amazing!!

Thanks so much for sharing! I wish you all the best!

Last edited by Recommencer; January 7th 2019 at 12:25 AM.
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Outside, huh?
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Re: 8 years ago. (TRIGGERING - SUICIDE ATTEMPT) - January 7th 2019, 01:28 AM

Hey Sarah,
I am so glad that you were able to get help, and find this site as well. I am glad you survived and I was able to get to know you and become your friend. It is also great to see how your life has improved, and seeing you find yourself and happiness. I know you know this, but if you ever need to talk I am here for you.

Your Friend,

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability|

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Re: 8 years ago. (TRIGGERING - SUICIDE ATTEMPT) - January 7th 2019, 03:57 PM

Sarah, my love. I am so glad you were able to reach out to your parents and let them know what you've done, so you could get the medical help you needed at that moment. I'm so glad you were able to get the support, both from the doctors and others in the hospital, to survive and come out stronger than before. I know the past few years have been rough as well, but I can definitely see your resilience through it all, and I think everything you've done in the past eight years have made you so strong. You are an inspiration!

I'm always here if you ever need someone to vent to or have a chat. <3
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