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max_gaydarklord Offline
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Age: 21

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Join Date: January 7th 2019

i just......idk anymore - January 7th 2019, 02:14 AM


well straight to the point, i have suffered with mental health issues depression, anxiety, self harm and self hatred for geez must be 8 years now.

i'm 19 going to be staring university in september yet i feel at my lowest, i feel empty, always sad, lonely and i really want to self harm right now i have been clean for over a year and i'm not sure how much longer i can keep that up.

i have to deal with well bullying i guess, at home my parents are quite homophobic to me and i hate it especially as they think it's funny, i don't really have many friends and i have been having sex with multiple guys recently to try and help myself feel better which has just made me feel worse.

this feels like the lowest point in my life, when i should be happy and looking forward to the rest of my life yet i just want to end it so badly and i feel like everyday is such a struggle to keep going, i can't really sleep anymore, i feel emotional all the time, i cry every day.

wow i know i sound like such an attention seeker and i don't like asking other people for help but i don't know where else to turn, if i don't do something soon i'm not sure what will happen, i don't think i would kill myself but i'm honestly not sure anymore i just want the pain to end.

so sorry for such a long post especially as my first, hope everyone is doing well though.
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rigirl10101010 Offline
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Name: Lizzie Star
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Re: i just......idk anymore - January 9th 2019, 12:00 AM

Hey, what you're going through is rough. I'm sorry that that is happening to you. I would definitely talk to someone about it (kind of what you're doing right now, which is good). Talk to the friends you have, whether they're in real life, or online. They'll listen. If you have hobbies, like drawing, singing, exercising, anything like that, do that. It will help you as well. I can't promise things will get better right away, or for a while, but I can promise that if you focus on not losing yourself, if you focus on the good things in your life, however few there might be right now, it will get better. This may feel like your lowest point in life, but as a wise koala once said, "The thing about hitting rock bottom, is that there's only one way to go...up" Hang in there friend.
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anymore, justidk

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