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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Kotomi Offline
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Now I'm thinking of ways... - May 30th 2009, 01:33 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've always had thoughts of suicide. My counselor and I have talked about this, but I never really had a plan.

These past 3 weeks, I've been thinking of various ways to kill myself. Overdosing, self-harming deep again and possibly hanging myself. I have overdosed a couple times before, but I never did get the job done.

My Dad and I have been fighting lately about school and chores...and today it reached a high point where he choked me and pushed me on my bed. I was so terrified and I wanted to cut my neck so bad to get rid of that lingering feeling that his hands were around it.

I feel like nothing and I am probably nothing.


   
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Re: Now I'm thinking of ways... - May 30th 2009, 01:49 AM

Plz dont kill yourself or think of ways you know that isnt the way out! we all care bout you on here and im so sorry bout what happened with your dad and you he has no right to do that.I would suggest telling your conselor that be open and trusting of her or him that is why they are there and you are so strong stronger then you think.Your only 16 and you have college and so forth ahead of you think positive! if there is anything i can do for you plz let me know i will be here for you.


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Re: Now I'm thinking of ways... - May 30th 2009, 04:56 AM

Hi Brittney,

I definitely agree with Heather. Hun, you are definitely NOT nothing. And you deserve to be in a situation where you feel happy and affirmed, not threatened.

Talking to counselor about what's been going, how you've been feeling and what's been going on with your dad, would be a good idea. Is there any other adult, like a relative or friend's parent, who you could maybe talk to and ask for help tackling this, too? Please take good care of yourself, Brittney.

Hang in there.


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Re: Now I'm thinking of ways... - May 30th 2009, 12:43 PM

Brittney,

You most certainly aren't nothing. You are individual and special just like everyone else and you don't deserve any of this. It must have been so scary and horrible when your dad choked me, my dad has done the same to me and its so horrible when you can still feel their hands on your neck even when their gone. Whatever your dad did though, none of that is your fault, it was his actions so he is the one responsible for it. He shouldn't be hurting you because of school and chores or anything else for that matter.

Its really good that you have talked to your councellor about your thoughts of suicide, thats really strong of you. I think now you need to be really strong again and tell him/her how bad it is and that you have been thinking about ways to do it. I know it probably seems really scary and difficult but its the best thing to do, your councellor can help keep you safe and if you tell him/her about what happened with your dad s/he can probably help with that too. If its any help I am in the exact same position as you and am going to have to tell my psychologist soon that I have been having those thoughts that you have been having too.. I have also overdosed... It isn't worth it though, honestly. Even if it doesn't seem that way now there is so much left in your life to look forward to. Life if always changing so things always get better eventually because they simply can't stay the same forever. I really hope you start to feel better soon, if you want to PM me then thats fine

Jen


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