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Crazy rant, want to cry, need to talk? - February 10th 2019, 03:22 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

They say I'm bipolar, likely have seasonal affective disorder, bloody perk of living in frigid wastelands of the north. These things are likely all unrelated to how I'm feeling now. I'm not exactly single, a friend of mine started flirting with me, they didn't know, it's not their fault. I froze up, had a panic attack, I wanted to tell them it wasn't right and I wasn't single right then and there but I couldn't. I am a bad person, I wanted it maybe? I told them later, but I'm certain they are mad at me. I told my partner too, partner is just mad at us both apparently, not either of our faults. After the whole thing, one way or the other I'm certain my friend is mad at me, or at least, thinks differently of me, I fear I screwed something up badly. Even if this friend wasn't made at me for not returning their affection, again, I think the events that followed make me look like a real mess. No one in this group of friends has ever seen me like this and I feel I just made everything all strange and awkward and ruined my credibility in their eyes, at least the way they saw it. I don't feel like I am normal around them anymore, feel like they are mad at me. I really just want to cry, this happened 2 months ago nearly and I've been a wreck ever since. I didn't want any of this ='( I just wanted to have fun and be myself and now it seems I can't let myself be normal. I need to cry.
   
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Re: Crazy rant, want to cry, need to talk? - February 15th 2019, 10:22 PM

Hey, I just want to start this off by saying that relationships are complicated as all heck, trust me, my love life until pretty recently hasn't been very great. However, I also know from experience that if you don't talk it out with your friends, and you keep your feelings bottled up, it'll end up being too much and explode in your face. Trust me, it might be uncomfortable, and it'll likely be hard, but if you don't talk to them and set things straight, you're going to get stuck in your head. Unfortunately, stuff like this is never easy, but once you talk to people about it, it's like ripping off a band-aid. If you need to talk, or want to hear my relationship blunders let me know.
   
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Re: Crazy rant, want to cry, need to talk? - February 20th 2019, 02:27 AM

I don't know, the whole world seems like it is mad at me right now, and I don't want to loose good friends over this silliness.
   
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