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Jennaholt Offline
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Triggering myself - May 1st 2019, 05:01 PM

I have depression. I've just started visiting a psychologist. So here's the deal. I don't feel anything. I haven't been feeling anything for quite a while now. I used to harm myself when I used to feel this way but I don't want to do that. And it's truly frustrating going from 10 to 0 (sensitivity/emotions or whatever). I've been trying to feel things. I read/listened/watched things that would usually make me sad. I've been watching 13 reasons why, which would usually be triggering, since I went through a lot of those things myself. But not working. Anyway, am I crazy? Is this crazy? Should I not be doing this? I just keep hoping something will set a spark withiin me but ..
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Re: Triggering myself - May 7th 2019, 08:44 PM

Hi, I am sorry you haven't gotten a response yet. What do you mean by you don't feel anything? Are you meaning you don't get triggered? Because you have depression doesn't neccessarily mean you get triggered, but this doesn't apply to everyone with depression. Has anything happened lately that is causing you to be like this? It could also mean that you've become desensitized to triggers, which is when you've felt/heard/seen something so many times that it becomes something that is routine or mundane. Therefore, it doesn't bother you anymore; your feelings are numb to it. But I could be wrong!

Do you see a counselor? Do you have a trusted adult you can speak to, such as a friend, family member, or a teacher? I suggest reaching out to them to help work through this. While it's okay to not have any triggers, that doesn't mean being numb to everything is normal. It could be a sign of an underlying issue, but none of us can say what it is.

Definitely speak to someone.

All the best. Feel free to reach out again if you have to.

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Jennaholt Offline
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Re: Triggering myself - May 8th 2019, 06:08 AM

I feel numb. It's maddening. I don't know how feeling nothing can be so overwhelmingly strong.
I know I have triggers because they've triggered me lot before. But the same things, or things much worse don't trigger me anymore. I'm so tired of not feeling anything.
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Re: Triggering myself - May 12th 2019, 09:26 PM

I agree with the above in that if you feel numb and your triggers don't seem to be triggering you at the moment, it may be that you are desensitized to them. It may also be a part of your depression too.

When we feel numb, it can be tempting to try to find ways to feel things (even resorting to self-harm, which I'm glad you don't do anymore). Sometimes we may deliberately seek out upsetting material in the hopes that we feel something. Alternatively, some people may try to find positive things in the hopes of feeling better. Either way ,we can't necessarily force our emotions to appear, more so if we are struggling with numbness related to depression.

When we focus on trying to feel something, we may end up focusing too much on this and end up feeling worse when we still can't feel anything despite our efforts. Some times it might help to accept that, at the moment, you can't feel much of anything but that it won't last forever either. Try to focus on living well and taking small steps to recover from depression rather than trying to force feelings to appear.

You mention that you are visiting a psychologist and I'm wondering how that's going for you? Have you talked about this numbness and has it helped to talk about it? There may also be the option of taking medication if you feel that might help too.

I understand that not feeling things can be pretty upsetting in itself. But you aren't crazy. With time and appropriate help and support, you will be able to recover from this

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