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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Ikigai Offline
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Depressed again - May 15th 2019, 03:59 PM

Dear TeenHelpers,
autumn and winter are always hard times for me, but I expected things to get better by March or so. And they did, but only for about a week. That week I was feeling energetic and willing to do stuff, but from then on... I've plunged into depression again. My future seems so dull. I skip school and extra classes constantly and instead of using that time for my hobbies I just lay down and do nothing all day. It makes me feel even worse, because I feel guilty for a few things: first, that I could study, second, that I could draw/write/create something, third, that my mother pays for extra classes and devotes a lot of her time trying to help me in all the ways possible, but it just doesn't work. I feel guilty for the fact that she pays for everything, cooks for me, does all the housework so that I can live through every day, yet even this guilt is no motivation for me to do anything.
I've been attending therapy for the last two years, but from now on I will probably have to see my therapist once in two weeks instead of once a week due to the costs. I've also considered seeing a psychiatrist and beginning medical treatment; I would probably go for it if it wasn't - again - for the costs. Currently it's impossible for us to handle treatment financially.
Seems I'm stuck. And I don't want to be here.


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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Depressed again - Yesterday, 02:13 AM

Don't ever blame yourself. You've went through a lot and recovery is the first step towards a bright future.

You might want to talk to your mom about how you feel. She's been understanding and nice and could be an important source of moral support. In order to beat and overcome what's currently plaguing you, you'll need to work with your mind. Don't fight yourself. Be with yourself and overcome the lack of self-esteem/belief/guilt you're currently going through right now. Everyone goes through phases where they blame themselves for something or putting some sort of burden on someone else.

But to be fair to yourself, others put burdens on you too at times. Don't be too hard on yourself and you'll eventually realize that beating depression is possible - Easy even, for some people. They just need to jump out of that mental state and change their viewpoint to a more positive one.

Be fair to yourself and remember to make use of every therapy session fully. Feel free to contact your therapist through personal message or calls to discuss your thoughts and feelings- that could be a big help.

You're better than you think you are. You just need to know it. We all know you're more than good enough. Wonderful, even.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Depressed again - Yesterday, 10:42 PM

Hi Sue, I am so sorry to hear you are struggling right now. Since your mom seems to be such a big support system when it comes to your academics, do you think you could talk to her about skipping classes? Perhaps you can take a year off, and that would save up the money you need for additional support through a psychiatrist or your therapist. Remember, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking time off from school—as long as you're above the minimum leaving age, which ranges from 16 to 18—to focus on your mental well-being.

You also say you're not focusing on your hobbies. Perhaps you can find a friend to do things with so it will give you more motivation? I know when I am feeling depressed and in a funk, all I want to do is lay down on my couch and just do nothing all day. With the weather getting warmer, perhaps you can just start off with something small such as sitting outside either alone or with your mom or another friend.

Best of luck. If you need to reach out again, please don't hesitate to do so.
   
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