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I need some suggestions - June 23rd 2019, 03:41 AM

Hey,

This is very difficult for me to type because this would be the first time in ages that I am accepting that something is wrong, again.

The last three years have been comparatively better. I was busy, had a full schedule, had a support system and coping mechanisms that worked. I was in control of how I felt and what I did and I have never felt so much better. But, grad school is now over and we have all moved for work, or moved back to our homes. I will be working my dream job soon, but the time duration between graduating and joining work has been too long. I have been stuck at home for over two months now and will be here for almost another month.

Home isn't the best place for me to spend a lot of time at. I love visiting on a weekend and such but staying here for a long duration brings back memories that I have tried to get over for a very long time. I was doing pretty okay, but in the last couple of weeks I have been on a downward spiral after an incident that triggered a number of flashbacks. I literally do not have anything productive to do right now and none of my usual coping mechanisms are working. My friendships are mostly long distance and there is only so much I want to rely on others and pile my shit on them. So I am trying to deal with this alone.

My biggest fear is that if this spiral continues, I might fuck up in the my first few weeks of work. I am really looking forward to this job and I am excited and everything. But knowing me and knowing how fast I have spiraled out of control before, I am also scared. I haven't cut in years or had suicidal thoughts in a couple of years but now I am dealing with theses thoughts again, almost every minute.

Anything that will help, please.


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Re: I need some suggestions - June 23rd 2019, 10:35 PM

Has there been anything that has helped you when you have spiraled in the past? You mention home isn't the best place, do you mean you home town or you place of residence? I know that's a weird question but if you are struggling with where you are currently living it might help to get out of your home more often and explore your town. If you are struggling with being in your home town you might have to employ coping skills to keep you grounded. Get lost in some shows/movies/books etc. Sometimes distracting oneself with fictional stories can be a great short term coping skill. Have there been any other coping skills that have helped to ground you in the past?


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