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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
JustTheKeags Offline
Meme a Day Keeps th Feels Away
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who the f**k would care - July 19th 2019, 04:40 AM

lately, i had been having a hard time dealing with my depression. a few weeks ago, i almost had a child. befpre that, my depression was kind of there, but it was more of a backround hum than anything else. over yhe laast week or so ive gotten pretty suicidall. im 90% sure my gf wouldnt care, especially since i pissed her off by complining bout feelong this way. my freinds are almost 90% fake, so they woudnt care. and my paarents can just go fuck themselves. id miss my dad but thats it at this point. so in al relity who tf cares if i die? id rather go out on my own terms anywoy.

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Heathen Offline
Beauty and Bedlam
Jeez, get a life!
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Re: who the f**k would care - July 19th 2019, 11:54 PM

I'm sorry to hear you're hurting so much. You're obviously in a lot of pain and it's understandable why suicide would be a seemingly reasonable answer to your problems. I don't think the question is "would anyone care?" Obviously someone somewhere would care. The people on this site, for instance. I've read articles from medical personnel, police officers, etc. that have to report to suicides where they talk about how traumatic and devastating it is to see that kind of loss of life. So yes, someone would care. You matter. Your presence matters. Your presence would be missed by those still here. I'm even willing to bet that the people you think are "fake" or your pissed off girlfriend would still miss you and be sad. Anger doesn't mean you suddenly don't give a fuck. Especially since I am assuming this is the person you almost had a child with. That's a pretty close bond. I imagine it would hurt a lot if you left it in such a way.

Are you in counseling? Or do you receive psychiatric services? Often times when dealing with persistent depression a combination of the proper medications and therapy can be effective at helping manage it. Even if you don't have access to or can't afford therapy, can you find someone to talk to? Someone who isn't "fake?" Having an open, non-judgmental ear can do wonders to help with mental health. Genuine connection is important. There are hotlines you can text and call to talk with someone 24/7 when you're struggling. One I like to use is the Crisis Text Line. All you do is text "HELP" to 741741 and it will connect you with someone.

You're not alone. You don't have to suffer alone. Even if you feel you have no one to talk to, you can reach out to the crisis lines. Maybe someone else can link you to some better ones, and I know there's resources at the top of the TeenHelp page. Look into them. Establish connections.

Good luck and PM me if you need anything else.

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