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ElToroLoco Offline
Sometimes fun costs you...
Average Joe
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Join Date: January 5th 2009

No social life.. - May 30th 2009, 09:53 PM

Im not good at writing how i feel and stuff. And specially not at the moment when I'm not in a stable mindset.
I don't have friends in real life. I'm not exagerating, and im not talking about just close friends. There is only one girl, met her through a social anxiety website, then met up in real life, but we rarely hang out, she keeps cancellin on me.
I feel that by 17, i should already have a close circle of friends. should already gone to parties. should've already had a girlfriend.
I want that lifestyle . the parties. the hookups, the drinking, the just living life to the fullest.
I buggs me. it angers me to the extreme. I self harm because of it. i've always had suicidal thoughts,but recently. im thinking more specifically of actual ways to do it.

"I hate that my blood makes me crazy. I hate that I can't function without being chemically altered...
And inside I feel like tears are streaming down my cheeks. But they're not are they...
I'm so lost inside. I wish that i could get out. But I don't think I ever will..."

Last edited by ElToroLoco; May 30th 2009 at 10:20 PM.
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i_am_me_again Offline
I'm A Pyschotic Neurotic.
I can't get enough
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Name: Jaymi
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 3,203
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: No social life.. - May 30th 2009, 10:10 PM

Hi Javier

Youd be suprised...for someone who feels they cant write, you express yourself very well.

I completely know where you are coming from. At 17 I was in the same position you are in. I had no friends. I felt exactly how you feel. I should have had boyfriends, I should be going to parties.

Everybody is different, & not everybody has to live by the book. I say that, because at 17 I was like you. Im 23 know & still dont go out. & Iv only got 2 or so friends.
But I only need 2 friends, I dont have & never will have a close circle of friends.

If you want to make friends, why dont you join a local club, or work experiance. The trick is, to be yourself, if you are shy, so what, if you are chatty, so what. Be yourself.

Although you dont feel it, you are still young, plenty of time to get out there. Theres no rule to tell you what age you should be doing this or that. Just be relaxed & take your time & things will happen.

Meanwhile, about the self harm. I understand what its like, as I keep saying, I was there. Its hard to not cut when thats what you know as a coping mechanism.

Your a smart guy, your post tells me a lot. I really dont think feeling suicidal is going to make you feel better.

Believe me when I say, just keep your head up, & if you can, try talking to someone, like a family member or counsellor. If your in danger to youself, then please get somewhere safe. Hospital mainly,

My inbox is always open, so if you want PM me, feel free too.

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