TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TH Anonymous Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
TH Anonymous's Avatar
 

Posts: 199
Join Date: January 5th 2009

I feel like there is no hope to ever feel this way - May 12th 2020, 08:29 PM

[SIZE="a"]Things have been extremely tough lately. I feel numb, I feel like it is hard to make myself do any little task. This stay at home order has been especially hard. Getting out, hanging out with friends was my way to cope with feeling depressed and anxious. My anxiety mostly revolves around health things and dying, so as you can guess, the combination of all of this is incredibly hard and feels like my worst nightmare. The state I am in isn't doing well, our numbers continue to climb. I don't leave the house, I feel like I am not treated well by my family. I work as a cashier, my parents told me I was not allowed to return to work during this period of craziness. They fear I may get my sister sick who is pregnant and has asthma. I just feel like everything has always revolved around my sister. I am 20 now so I am not a child, but I am trying to go to college and am trying to save all that I can and I feel like the only way that is possible is to live at home. My sister trashed my room and took over mine. I went in there one night when she wasn't in there to talk to friends on the phone. My dad came in there screaming at me, I was so embarrassed and quickly hung up but they had already heed everything. He told me I was contaminating the room (MY room) for my sister and was just screaming like you wouldn't believe. I just feel stomped on, and really sad. I feel like they never cared for me as much as they did for my sister who is 24 and pregnant.

I lack self-esteem. I am suffering from anxiety every day of my life. I will wake up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding and struggling to calm down. I am overweight, I am ugly. I am worried about my health for this reason. Gyms arent open, with absolutely nothing to do at my house I find myself eating in order to cope. I feel so hopeless. I am desperately trying to go to college, but with not working now I don't even think I can afford it. Growing up I was never taken to the dentist. I know I have cavities I need filled, but I cannot afford it while putting myself through college. I just feel ugly, sad, and hopeless. My dad was playing a video today talking about what men look for in women and what kinds of bodies they like. It was basically a bunch of men laughing at fat girls. They then mentioned how COVID is killing obese people. Even hearing that just made me cry and get very upset.

I got out of the house and took a walk today, but it ends and then I am back home and to square one. I just don't know what to do anymore. [/size]
   
Reply With Quote
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Mallika Online
HelpLINK Mentor

Not a n00b
**
 
Mallika's Avatar
 
Age: 22
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Posts: 74
Join Date: January 6th 2020

Re: I feel like there is no hope to ever feel this way - May 13th 2020, 08:37 AM

Hi there,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us here on TeenHelp. I'm so sorry that you've had to undergo so much.

First of all, I want to take a moment to appreciate how you are working so hard to be self-sufficient to save up for college. COVID-19 lockdown sucks, but this too shall pass and soon you'll be back on your feet again. I'm sure your efforts will be rewarded and you will get into college soon Also, have you consulted the colleges you're planning on applying to regarding tuition aid/scholarships?

Now, let's go through this one step at a time.

- I want to assure you that there is more to a person than their body size, and that no one is "ugly". Humans aren't artistic installations to be judged on the basis of appearance; we are complex beings and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Also, how our body appears is ever-changing. I have met loads of people who were on the heavier side at one point in their life, but subsequently lost a lot of weight. I have also met many on the other end of the stick - people who were skinny but gained weight. Our weight and size are influenced by so many factors that we cannot draw any conclusions based off that; what's more important is the person we are. If you intend to lose weight, there are many active and healthy ways to go about it, but the rule of thumb is to not beat yourself up if we make some mistakes here and there, and to never starve yourself. There are also some cool home-based workouts we can do currently that you can find online. Don't blame yourself for not being able to go to the gym; it's corona's fault, not yours

- Speak with your parents. You might want to tell your parents that you have something important to speak to them about. Then have an open and honest discussion with them about how you are feeling - from telling them about tooth cavities to losing sleep at night due to anxiety. Remember to stay as calm and composed as you speak to them (I know this is difficult, but this way they are less inclined to get indignant or upset). Tell them that while you understand your sister is pregnant, you still seek their understanding as this concerns your physical and mental wellbeing. Otherwise, if you prefer, you might want to talk to one parent first (the one you are more comfortable with) about this. Sometimes, when people are so focussed on one situation/person (e.g. a pregnant person, or a sick person), they tend to lose sight of others around them. But it doesn't mean that they don't care. I'm sure they want you to be doing well too. So, opening up about how you feel is always a good thing to do, just so they know how you are feeling.

- Let's talk about anxiety. It affects so many of us; we just cannot ignore it. You're doing the right thing by taking this opportunity to speak about it. There are many ways coping with anxiety; they just take a little patience and practice. Now, this might sound cliche but you could try meditation or yoga - especially meditation has been observed to be very effective at relaxation. You could also listen to podcasts on YouTube by motivational speakers like Jay Shetty (he has free podcasts on the Podcasts app if you have an iPhone); inspiring words really go a long way. You might want to find an unused notebook and start maintaining an affirmations journal - I know a lot of people who do this and benefit from it (https://thejoywithin.org/empowerment...s-and-examples).

- You mentioned eating more to cope with anxiety - don't worry, it happens to all of us at some point in life. There are a few simple things you can do to manage it. One thing I can recommend is cooking - it gives you the opportunity to plan balanced meals, it gives you a sense of satisfaction and stimulates your mind positively. Cooking is also an incredible way to relax and has been shown in multiple studies to be effective in dealing with anxiety (https://www.washingtonpost.com/healt...710_story.html). Now, it might be challenging at first, but start small and take baby steps. Try it a couple of times and you might enjoy it more than you thought you would!

- Another thing you could do given the current situation is have a small goal for each day. For example, walk 4 km, or spend some time gardening. Basically, a simple activity that gives you something to look forward to when you wake up. The joy and satisfaction you derive from completing an activity will go a long way in boosting your spirits. Here are some more ideas: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/person...help-you-relax

- And finally, since you're so diligent about earning money for college, one thing you could do is paid surveys - all you need is an internet connection. Every country has its own paid survey websites, whereby you do these surveys and you'll be paid some amount for doing them. Of course it's not going to be as much as compared to working somewhere, but it's still a little something. My dad does it a lot. Another thing is online tutoring; you can explore some options online.

I'll emphasise this sentence: This too shall pass. One year, or two years, from now, you might be in a completely different city, attending your dream course at a wonderful college. Or you might be at a much better place mentally, playing with your baby niece/nephew. We all have our down days or dark periods, there's nothing to feel ashamed about it. Remember that there's no second you in the whole world, so you ought to be mighty proud of yourself for how far you have come so far. Better days will come, I'm sure of it, so hang in there! And feel free to PM me if you have any more questions or if you feel like venting
   
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
feel, hope

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2020, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.