TeenHelp - i don't think i've got much longer left to live

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i don't think i've got much longer left to live

My will to live is really dwindling. Nothing I do is good enough for me anymore. Nothing's fulfilling for me because I always seem to fail at everything I do one way or another. I'm useless and I don't help anyone. I don't know how much longer I can hold on.

Re: i don't think i've got much longer left to live

Hey :)

I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. I know that when things are hard, everything else gets harder too and it's difficult to find the good in among all of that. It's a lot to deal with on your own so I'm glad you've reached out to us here.

I want you to know that everything you do is good enough. Nobody gets it right all the time. I fail at things all the time and it's super frustrating, but even experts get things wrong sometimes. The point I'm trying to make it, failure doesn't have to be a bad thing. It should be a normal thing. It gives you a chance to learn and aim for more, but you should let yourself fail sometimes because it's part of being human. Nobody expects perfection from anyone but themselves, and that's such a difficult mindset to have, but something we're all guilty of. But you should be able to celebrate your successes, even if they're small ones. For example, you've posted a couple of threads lately in the Good Days! forum which have celebrated a sense of belonging and a sense of achievement. These might be things which seem small and which pass, but they happened, and they're amazing. Try and find small things each day which you have succeeded at. It might be something as small as getting out of bed when you really don't want to, or laughing at a joke you heard on TV, or writing a poem you felt quite proud of. They don;t need to be mammoth achievements, but small successes mean just as much as huge ones do, and you deserve to feel proud of them.

Also, you don't need to feel fulfillment from success only. You can enjoy things you're not good at. I enjoy singing to songs and dancing but I'm completely rubbish! Try to do things just for the sake of doing them, and not always for the sake of achieving or succeeding. A really great example might be colouring or drawing. These can be really helpful relaxation tools which help you feel more grounded and in control. But if you're colouring outside the lines or your picture doesn't look perfect, who cares? If it made you feel good in the moment, then it's enough. Keep doing it. Do it for you, not for anybody else. You deserve to feel happy and good just for the sake of it.

I've read a few of your posts here, and I truly believe that you're far from useless. You're going through some hard things right now, so it's okay to feel down, and tired, and like you can't go on. But it will pass. It will take time, and it might not be fun to work on, but it's going tobe so worth it. I recommend reaching out to family, friends, teachers, counsellors if you're struggling in real life. They can be amazing at helping you get through a hard time. If this feels like something you can't do, there are other options out there too. Have a look at some of the hotlines which are listed here. Depending on your country, there are loads of options available, and if you're ever in a crisis and need urgent help, they're a great thing to bare in mind and turn to.

Otherwise, please know you can message me any time you like. I'm happy to talk, or just listen if you need to get something out of your system. Just try and remind yourself, as hard as it might seem and as hopeless as it might feel, you deserve to be here. You deserve to be alive, and you deserve the chance to survive all of the bad days so that you can have better ones one day. I hope you're staying strong. :hug:

Re: i don't think i've got much longer left to live

Quote:

Originally Posted by Everglow. (Post 1365555)

This is so helpful, thank you so much.

Re: i don't think i've got much longer left to live

Failure affects us all in one way or another. When we don't do well at something in school we can feel like we failed. When we didn't please our family or friends, we feel like we failed them. When we didn't do as good as somebody else, we can feel like we failed ourselves. We hold ourselves with such high expectations that we tend to forget that failure is a completely normal part of life. The important part in failure is learning how and why we failed, and what we can do to change it for the better. Failure is just a lesson in life. It's going to keep happening, and it's going to keep teaching you all kinds of new things. Don't see failure as this huge negativity, see it as something positive. Failure is an educator.

Failure educates us on how to motivate ourselves towards change. No matter what it is that you feel you failed at, see it as something good. Don't see it as a way of making you feel useless or that you don't help anyone. You help others in ways you may likely not even realise. Help takes many forms. It's not some singular thing where we can say words to people and suddenly they're ok. Human nature is far more complex than that. Each person has their own behaviour and methods of how they best receive help. Once you learn the way that person best receives help, it's a lot easier to help them. For example, say you had a friend who was feeling down that day and offloaded some pretty big information to you. You're likely going to wish you were able to say something profound to help them... but maybe that's not the help they need. Perhaps that person would very much appreciate you being the person who sits there and listens to them just get things off their chest without saying anything in return. Perhaps that person just wants you to hug them or just be around them while they go through their negative feelings. The presence of another person can be exceptionally comforting, especially in a time like this where people feel lonely and isolated. If you're not sure how you can help someone, ask them. Sometimes they may be able to give you a good answer. Sometimes they may not know, but at least you know that the best thing you can do for them is to just be there to support them. :)

Re: i don't think i've got much longer left to live

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soda_Voxel (Post 1365549)

I can feel you. I know the feeling of being worthless. You are alive but not living a life. All the blames are on you. Don't know where to go and what to do. Everything you do is always a mistake. What life is all about when the one you love, hurts you the most?