TeenHelp - Worthless

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- - Worthless (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-depression-suicide/t162234-worthless/)

I am unfit to living with people. I’m worthless. I’m useless. They have to invest a lot of money, time and nerves for my therapy, and what do I give back? Spending even more money and time and destroying mental health of everybody around. It is just not worth it. One day I will lead my mother to neurosis or depression. I’m not worth living and being cared for. I only consume money and time and I don’t give anything back. No effects of therapy, I don’t work, I won’t even pass studies. Whatever I touch, I break. I wish my mother couldn’t see immediately when I’m not right. I hear her cry afterwards. I’m guilty for all this. Father should suffer as much as she does. But he knows nothing. He only appears when he needs something of me. I would like to simply disappear. Poof! Like a soap bubble. No consequences, no traces of my existence. Everybody would be healthier and better. And I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.

Sue! I'm really sorry that you've not received a reply yet, especially when you were feeling this way. :( :hug:

I can only hope that 2 weeks on, you've started to feel better, or are feeling a lot better.

You're not worthless or useless at all. I know that you've felt that way, but you're not. While I can't know your personal life, I do know that when it comes to TeenHelp, you put so much time and effort into your staff duties, and other people. You make wonderful threads, give great replies. You generate a lot of thoughtful discussions that are pleasant to respond to. I enjoy them a lot. None of those things are worthless, nor useless.

You might not feel like you give back, but you do, and it's good that your mum can see that you're not right. It shows how much she cares for you. I know how difficult it is when we cause our parents to cry. I've done it to my mum. I've felt absolutely dreadful afterwards. I made her feel that way. I had a negative impact on her emotions. I've felt unwell because of it. The one thing I try to do is show my mum how much I appreciate and care about her too. I'm terrible with expressing myself, but I try and use actions to do it for me. I imagine you to be the same with your mum in that you want to take care of her and show appreciation for her. You can't help upsetting someone sometimes, even a parent.

You are an incredible and beautiful human being. Never forget that you are worth an exceptionally high amount, and that you are far more useful than you think you are. You're always welcome to message me at any time. :hug:

Sarah, thank you very much for your reply. I appreciate the time you took to write it. Your kind words mean a lot to me. Thank you :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matter (Post 1372756)

Hello there,
I'm sorry for the late response, I've only just joined but saw and wanted to say I'm sorry your feeling like this, how are things now has anything gotten better and that you feel like you have overcome the thought or feeling that you felt worthless? Had anyone discussed with you about the cost of therapy and if anyone can support you and take some pressure of your shoulders by helping paying for it? Have you spoken to your therapist about how down your feeling? They could help too. Saying you'll fail your studies is sad to hear, and I'm very sorry you think that, I thought I'd fail my studies but eventually, with my therapist and my schools help I passed. It's stressful, it tireds you out and the pressure you have is so hard, and I can totally hear here your coming from. You are worth being cared for, when you say you wish you could disappear, do you mean suicide? Have you spoken to someone about that? I hope things can get better, I really hope you see how special and important you are to everyone around you, you might not see or feel it, but your as good as anyone in this world!

Big hugs from me,

Shaunie