Future

[Silvan]

Every single day I consider what I have, and objectively I have a very good life: good people around me, enough money, many life skills, studying at university. But I don't feel good. I'm changing jobs and even university faculties constantly in chase of something that will give me happiness.

It's hard to say when that happened, but at one point in my life I started hating the idea of my future. Now, whenever I think of the future, I can see many dreams of mine, but they're always accompanied by an unshakeable conviction that they will never happen. My mind is absolutely sure that my future is only bleak, painted in dark colours, full of struggles and unhappiness.

This is very scary to notice, as are my thoughts of committing suicide. As long as killing myself even crosses my mind, I can't consider myself happy. I've tried psychotherapy and medication and other alternatives for years, why does nothing help? Why is it only getting worse, and if nothing has helped for years, how am I even supposed to have any hopes for the future?

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello Sue,

I am sorry that you have not gotten a reply yet and I am so sorry that you are having a hard time and hope that you will be okay soon.

When we have a lot of things going on, school, work, friends and family stuff, sometimes when something happens this will make us feel upset and then we will have more things happening to us and we feel like everything is going wrong and we are not okay. It can be hard to fix things by ourselves, when you are having a hard time are you able to talk to someone in your family or friends or at school and let them know that you are having a hard time with this and you need some help. Also at schools, they have different groups that you can join and see that others are going through what you are and you can maybe try going and talking or you can always listen to the others talk. When you are having a hard time with this, try to find something to help you get your mind off of this for a while so that you will feel a little bit better. For example, going for a walk around your house or reading a book for a while or drawing or painting or writing or calling a friend or family member or baking cookies or putting on a funny movie or TV show or something else that you enjoy doing.I hope you will be okay soon. Sending you to help.

Hey there, thanks for reaching out! I'm sorry you're struggling and thinking about the future when everything is filled with unknowns can certainly bring our mood down. I think it's important to focus on the present, what we have in this moment, what we can do in the upcoming days and weeks. If we get too far ahead of ourselves, think about what we want of our dreams and the future, we start thinking about all the negatives. "I won't be able to do this," "This is never going to happen," "I'm getting to old to...," and so on forth.

Perhaps something you can do is focus on the immediate future and set goals for yourself. What do you want to accomplish in this semester at university? What skill do you hope to achieve at work? Working on the little things, focusing on those tasks in the immediate future will turn into something big in the long run — over the course of months, years, even decades.

Don't look at where you want to be in another twenty years. Look at what you hope to get done in the next twenty days.

I would give therapy another chance. There are so many therapeutic forms out there that it's going to take time to find one that fits your needs. Do you have a primary care doctor you can speak to about this? In the US, we have this website called "Psychology Today" but I am not sure if there's an equivalent in your country; but you can narrow down therapists in your area using filters, and this can help find what you're looking for.

Of course, you can always reach out to us on TeenHelp. I'm wishing you the best of luck.