Better off without me

[Ragamuffin]

I don’t want to live anymore. It would be better for everyone if I just disappeared. I can’t seem to keep friendships or relationships and those I care about end up hating me eventually. I recently had a falling out with a close friend/colleague and I’m trying to make things right but just seem to make everything worse. I even feel my dog would be better off without me. I seem to be incapable of training him, despite spending so much money on training lessons and aids, nothing works. He ran away while on a walk today and I almost lost him. All this has just sent me over the edge. I don’t seem to feel anything but anger or hurt at the moment and it’s affecting me while I’m at work. I lost my temper the other day and broke down in front of one of my colleagues. I hate feeling this way but I have no motivation to make things better and nothing brings me joy anymore so I just don’t see the point.

[Ennui.]

Hey,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way! Remember that even though sometimes it does not feel like it, you are loved and cared about, and people want you here.

Maybe for the friends that you have had a rough time with, you can let things cool off a little and then try talking to them again? Use "I statements" such as "I feel ___ when ___," and not "you statements," which may make the other person defensive. You can let them know that you are sorry for what happened and ask what you can do to fix things and make them right.

As far as your dog goes, training dogs is hard work and it's not your fault! Some animals are just harder to train than others. Have you considered a doggy obedience class to help you along? That way your dog can get some training and you can get some tips from the professionals on how to practice at home. I know you said you've spent money on training lessons before, though, so I understand if you don't want to go this route again. I'm just thinking that maybe trying a different type of class or a different setting may help. Dogs are loving creatures, though, and I bet he loves you a ton, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

As far as work goes, maybe you can try taking a step back next time and taking a breather before talking to your coworker. You can let them know you'll get back to them about whatever the issue/project/task is soon, but first you need a moment. Then, try taking a walk or doing breathing exercises to calm down.

Do you have anyone to talk to about this, such as a therapist or doctor? I know it's hard to bring these types of things up but it's important to have someone you can talk to without being judged.

You said nothing brings you joy right now. Keep trying old hobbies and things that you used to enjoy, but also try and find new things you can do with your time that you might find that you like, such as something crafty, an exercise, or something else.

These feelings won't last forever. I know you can get through this and come out on top.

[Everglow.]

Hey Scout,

It sounds like there's lots going on for you right now, and it's okay to feel down, upset and even defeated sometimes. I definitely share some of the feelings you have, and I know it's hard to reason with your own mind at times.

Having fall outs with friends is always hard. I am sure that you're not making it worse deliberately, so maybe you can try talking to your friend to let them know you're trying, but that you're struggling to word things right/get it right. Everyone is human and that means sometimes we do get it wrong, and that's okay. For me, I find that taking myself out of the situation is useful, and give me time to think through what I want to say without it being spur of the moment. Maybe you could write your friend a letter or a text message, which you can edit and re-read until you're happy with. That way, you can say everything you need to, without the pressure of the moment making it worse.

It's definitely not true that anybody would be better without you, especially not your dog! Dogs are hard to train sometimes, and there's always times when they test your patience! But dogs are mans best friend for a reason, and your dog would have nobody putting in the hours like you if you weren't around. If your dog is running off on walks, it's definitely worth considering doing dog walks on lead only for a while. I would suggest working on heel training so your dog walks with you rather than against you. You could try gradually easing off-lead again by using a longline, that way you still have control even if your dog decides to bolt! It's always hard because dogs don't speak our language, and have impulses we don't understand sometimes. But you're doing a great job, so cut yourself some slack. You deserve to be told you're doing okay.

I understand that losing your temper at work isn't ideal, but usually outbursts like these are our body's way of telling us we need a break. It sounds like you have a lot of emotion right now, and you're just reaching your threshold. That's okay, and there are ways to channel this better. I find music is useful, so maybe if you feel like you're at your limit, stick in some headphones and blast some music. You could also go on a long walk to clear your head, write down your feelings, play some games, call a friend/relative you trust. If these aren't what works for you, don't worry. There's tonnes of distractions you can find here, and something may work better for you.

You're doing your best and that's all anybody can expect from anybody. I know it's hard, but take it a day at a time and you can work through this. Don't be afraid to ask for help and talk to people when you're not doing your best. You've got this.

[London_grace]

for you.

[popinin]

You know, I may not have lived a long life and you probably won't even read this commentary, but I went through depression and the feeling of thinking that you are alone in this world and no one needs you. At that point I was sent away and started ignoring a girl I really liked, it hurt and felt like no one in this world needed me and had no influence on anything, which meant that my leaving my life wouldn't do anyone any harm, but I was able to brush my soul away. You know, what doesn't break us makes us stronger, I was afraid, but I took the will in my fist and went for the fear. I went to that girl I liked at home, and waited for her until she came home. After catching up with her, I gave her a stuffed toy that she liked, flowers and chocolates, gave it to her and told her how I felt about her, and apologized for everything that came before. I let her go from my soul, and I was relieved. After that incident, I reconsidered the meaning of life and realized that the best thing is to create the world you want. I started chasing new experiences, skydiving, going through the war, and talking to different people and getting their life experiences. That's what life is worth living for, don't cling to material means, live the life you want. I hope you come to your senses, but it's up to you to do it now or choose the path of purification.