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.:nat:. Offline
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I hate myself and want to die - June 3rd 2009, 09:36 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Each day i spnd existing is agony to me. I hate myself for being the reason for lack of money in our house hold, i hate the fact that i am ust a burden to peopl, i hate the fact that i have no friends whatsoever, i have never been to a party, never had a bf, never kissed a guy, nevr done anythinng.;...never will. i have nothing to live for. i used to have my grades to live for but now that isnt even good enough to strive for. Every miserable day is spent around binging and purging every spare minute i have. and i am SO FUCKING SICK OF IT! I want it to end. but i am too scared to attempt my life again because last time, i ended up unconscious in ICU for 3 days in excruciating pain....ugh im so fucked.

sorry kind of a rant
   
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Re: I hate myself and want to die - June 3rd 2009, 02:28 PM

Hey, how are you the reason for lack of money if you don't mind me asking?
I can be your friend if you want me to be because it feels like I'm in the same boat as you so we can help each other if you want? I can try and help you with the feelings of wanting to go, I'm proud of you for not trying to attempt it. Even if it's just because of fear that you won't succeed I'm still proud of you.
Lots of people haven't done anything like that at your age, I've barely done anything along them lines. It doesn't matter, you have your whole life to do it right?


You were the angel of my life, taught me to be free
Now I'm a stranger in your eyes.
   
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Re: I hate myself and want to die - June 3rd 2009, 05:28 PM

Hey Nat,

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of this right now. It seems like you have so much going on for you so I am so glad you posted this and reached out for help because you deserve it. I am not sure of the reasons why you think you are the reason for your family having a lack of money. But I don't see how you can be responsible totally for that. Having no friends is horrible and can make you feel much worse and so isolated. But if you ever need a friend then I am always here for you. You never have to be alone Nat and there are people that care about you including me that is why I am replying to your post.

You are only 16 and have your whole life ahead of you so it doesn't matter whether you have ever had a boyfriend or been to a party. You have got plenty of time yet for all of that so you don't need to worry abou that.

Taking your life as you might have realised can just cause long term damage, which may not be able to be changed. You need to look after yourself because you are worth it. I am here for you so please take care :-)
   
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