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L'espoir Offline
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Everyone hates me, I feel so overwhelmed - June 8th 2009, 06:58 PM

Urgh, I feel SO terrible right now. Its just like everyone hates me just about. My sister is screaming at me how Im such a terrible person, Im an idiot and she hates me because apparently I ruint her desktop on the computer and she just hates me anyway because Im alwyas horrible. My other sister was also shouting too, God only knows why! My mum got angry yesterday. Everyone always seems angry and its always my fault. I guess I don't blame them for being angry, Im a pathetic excuse for a human. I just walk around messing things up as I go.. I don't even deserve to be alive. The last few weeks I have been finding it so hard to cope, I go and stand really close to the road just waiting to step out. I sit and look at all the tablets I have hidden, waiting to take them all. I just cry and cry all the time, its not that anything happened to make me cry lots of the time, I just feel so sad and overwhelmed that I can't help myself. I keep thinking about dying, I want to die so badly right now. I want to cry. I want to cut my arms. Anything to make the sadness go away, anything. I can't take anymore and school is pushing me over the edge. I have exams coming up and loads of coursework/homework I need to do and I CANT do it! I sat crying and crying over my homework yesterday because I feel so down and un-motivated that I just can't take it. It all overwhelms me and I start to break down. The only "friend" I have at school currently ignores me for her boyfriend... but she still expects me to go and sit with her and her boyfriend and their mates, I dont know why becuase they ignore me but hey. Her boyfriend is leaving on wed and she just is gonna start talking to me again. Its like shes just using me and I can't deal with that, with any of this stuff. I just can't. Im even crying now


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Re: Everyone hates me, I feel so overwhelmed - June 8th 2009, 07:56 PM

Hey,

I know what it's like for people to be mad and just blame you. It happens to me a lot as well. But you have to realize they just don't want to blame anybody else, so they put it on you. It's not fair and trust me, it's NOT your fault. Don't let them bring you down, it's not worth it to let other people hurt you.

You deserve to live. Everybody deserves to live. You have a purpose in life and you can and will get through this. Life is hard but it's worth it. Someday you will be happy that you are alive. It's okay to cry and not know why, somebody told me tears are healing and I believe that. It's okay.

I'm sorry that your friend is treating you like that. Maybe sometime when her boyfriend isn't around you could talk to her about how you feel and how it hurts you that she does that to you. Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives we don't even realize we are leaving the people we love behind!

Everything will be okay!
You can get through this! If you need to talk, PM me <3


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Re: Everyone hates me, I feel so overwhelmed - June 9th 2009, 12:20 AM

Family can be tough, but friends can be a real help. Even if they are just friends you meet online. I have learned this over the past couple years. I'm always open to hear people out and be friends. :]
   
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