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My head is doing my head in.... -
June 9th 2009, 08:20 PM
This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
Hello.
Many of you dont know me. Im Jamie. Ive been a member since the site re-opened. I enjoy helping you. Now I have come for help.
I have several items which I can use to end my pathetic life. I wont say what, because its unessecary.
All I can say is that I will be using those items soon.
This isnt a suicide note...far from it...I dont believe in suicide notes.
However I do believe its my time.
I have been given all different signs, be it visual & auditary hallucinations, to the T.V which talks to me to the terrorists watching & recording my every move.
I take meds & have a lot of support. But that just makes me want to end it even more.
Im not worthy.
I have a lot of shit going on....anything I look forward to fucks up. And anything that doesnt fuck up...well I didn't look forward to it anyhow.
Im not going to sit here & start swearing & cussing about how much I want to die....I believe I can express the hatred I have for myself without the use of swear/cusswords.
I hate myself, I hate my looks, I hate my non existant personality, I hate my body, I hate the way I hate everything about me.
I have problems with self esteem & I feel guilt all the time.
My main emotions range from guilt, to depression, to numb,then to agression.
Anyway Sorry for the rant, I just needed to say...my head is doing my head in.
Re: My head is doing my head in.... -
June 9th 2009, 08:44 PM
Hey,
It's not your time to go. You're only 23 years old, that's way to young to die, esp. by your own will. It might not seem like it's worth it to hold on but it is! Life is a gift and it might be hard now but it won't always be hard. It seems you think way to negativly about yourself, next time something negative pops into your head replace by speaking something positive over yourself. Words are powerful, if you keep telling yourself how much you hate being you then you will but if you say good things about yourself you will eventually believe the good!
Honestly, I really think you need to tell somebody about: A. What your planning. B. How you feel. C. "I have been given all different signs, be it visual & auditary hallucinations, to the T.V which talks to me to the terrorists watching & recording my every move."
Like you said hallucinations, which aren't true. It's not true, it's not your time. It's a lie, YOU CANT BELIEVE THE LIE! Your life is worth living, you are worth so much, you just don't see it. Please hang on! I'm always here if you want to talk, PM me <3
Re: My head is doing my head in.... -
June 10th 2009, 08:17 AM
Jamie, love, it is not your time. I don't really want to beg, because I don't think it will do anything. But Jamie, you're not ready to go yet. You have your whole life ahead of you to do whatever you like. What if Staind comes out with a new album? Are you going to miss that? Huh? No. No you're not because you're wonderful and should stay alive. Okay? Okay.
I'm here if you need me.
myspace.com/lonesome_fish for poetry. I like feedback sometimes. And I like smiley faces .