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Depression.. - June 13th 2009, 12:01 AM

Hii everyone..
So i'm kinda new here.. and i just wanted to ask everyone here a qustion..
I'm a sophmore in High school. This school year was a living hell. I went out with a guy who when I broke up with him spread nasty rumors about me. That went over the school. That I slept with 10 guys, and i'm a whore, and I did a bunch of things to him, and I was a virgin at the time. I started going out with a new guy, but he was a druggie, so then i got a label as a druggie whore. Things startted getting out of control again. I had been seeing a councular from the year before but I wasnt really telling her everything. My status in that school was horriable. Nobody talked to me. Then i broke up with my bf, and went out with a new guy. Then i was labled as a doornob. Everyone gets a chance with me. But This sounds like HS stuff, It was worse then you think. Drinking, my eating disorder, and suicidal thoughts and all that shit came back. I was getting in trouble and sneaking out nightly. My life was out of control. I was cutting too. My boyfriend now really loves me, and im in love with him. He made me promise to stop cutting and eat... but the problem is he had an eating disorder and AOS and depression before too. But the point is now he wants me to be happy and postive.. but I don't know how. I guess i just need some advice to get my life in controll again.. because I didn't want to stop cutting or drinking..so any responce would be good.. sorry for the essay
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Re: Depression.. - June 13th 2009, 12:48 AM

It seems like you have a lot going on right now. I understand that you have a current boyfriend; one whom you care about deeply. I think it's safe to assume that he feels the same way as you didn't mention additional details regarding that.

You mention that you've been seeing a counselor. Are you still seeing that counselor? It seems like you have a lot going on in your life and maybe a serious commitment, like a boyfriend, isn't a good idea at this time. You've had a rough past and you're still very young. That isn't nice to go through.

You don't think perhaps, your current boyfriend is going out with you only because of the rumors being spread about you, right? I am not trying to suggest that he is but it seems like you've been taken advantage of a lot in the past and I want to ensure that it won't happen again.

Are your parents aware of all of this? Aside from the social aspect of your current issues, there are a few that worry me. You mention that you're cutting. Although this may be a coping mechanism that apparently works for you, you have to realize that it is not only extremely unhealthy but also very dangerous. There are many other coping mechanisms out there that can replace your self-harming habits.

Do you have any hobbies or interests? Perhaps getting involved with something might help take your mind off of your current issues and give you another way to deal with your problems instead of methods of self-harm. Your eating disorder is another issue. Like the self-harming, an eating disorder can become very severe in a short, short time. It's really important that you get back on track with these things.

My advice to you would be to talk to someone about what you're going through, if you're not already. I understand you're seeing (or saw) a counselor but you may not have told him/her about your self-harming and eating disorder. It's really important that an adult is aware of this because I'm sure you don't want anything bad to happen to you. It takes one second.

Like I mentioned earlier, I don't know if getting into a relationship would be the best thing right now. This is merely my own opinion, of course. I think that you have a lot of things you need to work out right now and I don't know how having a boyfriend would work with that. You're very vulnerable right now as you are dealing with a lot. Having a serious boyfriend could potentially be detrimental to you in the future.

All in all, I'd suggest that you talk to someone about all that you're going through. The person you decide to talk to will obviously know you better than I do and thus could offer you more specific advice that pertains to you personally. Good luck with everything.

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Re: Depression.. - June 13th 2009, 01:48 PM


Firstly, I wanted to say welcome to Teenhelp :-) I am glad you joined the site and I hope you are able to get the help and support you need. If you ever need anything then you are more than welcome to PM me. You never have to be alone with anything!

You have got so much going on for you at the moment. It seems like previous boyfriends have treated you badly and you deserve so much better than that. I am glad things seem to be working out with your current boyfriend and it seems like he really cares about you. It must be really hard from his perspective for him to know what to do and how to help you stop self harming. Making promises to stop self harming and eat are not very helpful because if you haven't dealt with the reasons why you do these things then it is going to be pretty hard to stop. Then if you do end up slipping up you will feel like you have let your boyfriend down.

You mentioned seeing a counsellor before, do you still see them? If not then I think it is really important that you get some help for yourself. Then you will be able to begin to take control of your life and hopefully put these destructive coping mechanisms behind you.

Thinking positively is important because if you constantly think negatively then you will see everything in a negative way and that will stop you taking control. When you start thinking negatively stop yourself and take a step back and try to look at it from a different view that is positive.

I hope you are able to feel a bit better soon. Stay strong and don't give up :-)
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