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swinging between life and death - June 13th 2009, 09:13 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I am going back and forth between life and death. I have so many ways that I know are effective. I can't hold on ...I am physically and emotionally weak. I have been a member since 2004, (site crashed or something) and I rarely ask for advice, but now, I am drowning. I am so weak, and so very numb. I have so much in my life. I can't get past my eating disorder, although i have good days, and I have no strength left. I feel like I can no longer function. I don't feel hopeful. I feel like I have things to live for, but I can't make things any better. I can't live like this anymore.

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Re: swinging between life and death - June 13th 2009, 01:34 PM

Hey Amanda,

I am so sorry that you are struggling so much right now. I wish there was something I could do or say to make things all better for you because you shouldn't have to go through all of this. You can keep holding on; you have got this far already, which must have been tough. You have to keep going and taking each day at a time then it might seem slightly more managable.

Fighting an eating disorder must take away so much of your stength and leave you feeling weak. But you do say that you have good days, which is an achievement because I bet you haven't always had good days so you have moved forwards. It can take time but lots of little steps will help you to manage your eating and one day you will be able to look back and be glad that you didn't give up and that you were able to fight it. You are able to fight it. You are right that you do have things to live for but sometimes you have to get some extra help because you are not able to change things alone. Have you got any support with things? It always helps to have someone to talk to because being alone can makes things so much more difficult. If you ever need anything then you are more than welcome to PM me.

Keep holding on Amanda. I know this might be hard to believe but things will get easier. But sometimes things do get harder before they get easier. It won't always be this bad. Stay strong :-)
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