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rebecca110109 Offline
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Name: Rebecca
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not doing too well :'( - June 26th 2009, 02:36 AM

ok, pretty much everythings shit right now and i wanna kill myself. work is shit, home is shit, my love life is shit, my friendships are shit

at work, i like this girl. no one at work knows im bi. and i feel like they'd just freak out if i told them. and judge me badly. this girl and i have been pretending as a joke, or whatever, that we're going out and getting married and divorced and all this crazy relationship stuff just for fun. like we're lesbians or whatever. ive kinda fallen for her though. and i mean, like.. i get real nervous round her, which makes it kinda hard working with her. im pretty sure she's straight, but i aint 100%. so thats just making work awkward.

thats just work. ive gone back to cutting and attempting suicide. i dont know what to do anymore. im on anti-depressants but i think, everythings just too overwhelming. help!
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MadPoet Offline
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Re: not doing too well :'( - June 26th 2009, 04:01 AM

Hey Rebecca.
I'm sorry things haven't been going so well for you lately. But the good thing is that these issues can be resolved, however hard they may seem to be. You say that your co workers would judge you if you told them that you were bisexual, but why should you have to make an announcement about your sexuality to all of them? If you like this girl that you are relatively good friends with, the only person who really needs to know is her. If you're really serious about being in a relationship with her, why not talk to her about your feelings? It sounds, at least, as if she is good friends with you, and I'm sure that she will support you even if she herself is straight, and even if you do not end up in a relationship at least you will have a coworker who understands and supports you.

As for the cutting and suicide, what is making you feel the need to self harm besides the depression? If you feel that you are at risk of suicide maybe you should make an appointment with your doctor and talk through all of this. Do you feel that your medication is helping you? If not, definitely talk to your doctor about that so you can try some different antidepressants. Regardless, don't give up now. These problems your facing can be resolved, and are definitely not reason enough to end your life. I'm here if you ever need to talk Hang in there. x

A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts

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dancer Offline
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Re: not doing too well :'( - June 26th 2009, 04:56 AM

Hi Rebecca,

take a deep breath, hun. That first sentence, about things being stressful right now - I'm so sorry that things are so rough, but please realize that it is just for right now. Sometimes, "right now" can extend for what feels like an unfairly long time, but "right now" can get a whole lot better, too.

Sometimes, sitting down for a second and asking yourself "what do I need to happen for me to feel less stressed?" That could be talking to the girl about how things are going, talking to a doctor, finding alternatives to SH that are going to work for you now, or even just running out for ice cream or watching a favorite movie or something. Short-term, healthy mood lifters can help a bunch in relieving things long-term, too.

Hang in there.

Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
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Re: not doing too well :'( - June 26th 2009, 04:20 PM

All in all, I think you need a break. Can you get away, maybe go on a vacation for a little bit? Hang in there, things'll get better, I promise

PM Me if you need it.

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Re: not doing too well :'( - June 26th 2009, 05:51 PM


I think you're taking too much on your own shoulders right now. It's okay to take a step back from things that are stressing you and say "that's enough for now." You don't need to take everything on at once, and you shouldn't try to. That's a good way to feel overwhelmed. You deserve a rest as much as anyone else here. I think I agree with Toz, maybe take a few days to yourself and spoil yourself. Have a spa day or something. Hang out with people that aren't stressing you and promise yourself to put aside all of the stress and work on yourself for a few days. The problems will solve themselves or go away in time. You have so much more time in life, there is no need to work yourself up over things that might not matter in the future.

As for this girl you like, try not to worry about it. If she likes you when the time is right, you'll know if she's straight or Bi or anything in between. Worrying about dating and things like that only make it harder to talk to the person you really like. Try to block that out and enjoy the time you do have with her. You never need to come out until your ready, and only to people you're ready to let in. What they think shouldn't matter because you shouldn't change yourself for anyone. I know you're overwhelmed right now, but deal with what you can upfront and the rest will heal itself in time. :] If you need anyone to talk to, I'm only a PM away. Try to keep yourself busy on the fun things, the rest can fall into place later. Take care - you're not alone here.

-Have hope

01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
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