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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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MadPoet Offline
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Sometimes suicide really angers me. - June 27th 2009, 03:19 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I hope this post doesn't sound rude or hurtful in anyway. I undestand that people feel depressed, I understand it because I myself have depression. But what I sometimes don't understand is why people decide to kill themselves, why people don't realize how lucky they truly are. I mean, there are so many people in the world who have life threatening illnesses, and don't have much longer to live. And then there are people simply throwing away what all of those people are fighting for.

We've all been blessed with life, even though sometimes it feels like anything but a blessing. And simply throwing that blessing away because things are rough... it's selfish, it's wasteful, and it's not fair. Depression is a terrible emotion, and a hard thing to deal with, but it's not worth your life. I don't know, it just really ticks me off. It really pisses me off that people throw something so amazing away.

Life, it's really an amazing thing. There's hurt in life, sure, but why forget about all of the happiness and things in life that are worth it? Why end your life, when there are so many people in the world who are fighting simply to live?

My dad tried to kill himself when he was 17. So many people would have been affected if he would have succeeded. I wish he would have known that one day he would die from cancer, and wouldn't even be able to experience life any longer, and could have seen that he's truly missed. Why do people so often forget that people really do care? Why do we let all of our negative feelings swallow us whole so thoroughly that we can't even remember the way it feels to be happy? That we can't think of anyone else's emotions but our own?

Whenever I see these depression threads, I feel terrible for the person who has posted them. But on the other hand, sometimes I simply want to scream at the top of my lungs and ask that person if they even have any idea how lucky they are. If they know how many people really care, if they know how many people who really be affected if they killed themselves today.

This is why I feel terrible for feeling depressed, for ever wanting to kill myself. I mean, why can't we all be grateful? And even if you can't find anything to be grateful for, there's always one thing that you can start with - You're alive. You have a family. You have people who care, even when it feels as if they don't. You're one lucky person, no matter what you're going through. Because above all else, you're alive today. I don't know. I just wish people would realize this more often.

I don't know why this is getting to me so much tonight, but I just needed to rant a bit. I guess it's probably because both Father's day and the date my dad died just passed, and I just.. I don't know, keep thinking about it. And wishing people just knew how lucky they were to simply be alive. I really do.

Gahh, I just needed to get that off my chest.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts



Last edited by Prozac; June 27th 2009 at 11:20 PM. Reason: Triggering prefix added.
   
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Re: Sometimes suicide really angers me. - June 27th 2009, 03:48 AM

I get what you are saying, sometimes I also think about that. People killing themselves when on the other hand people who have there days counted what to live more.
Remember not everyone thinks that "life is all great." I may think hotdogs are delicious and I don't understand how anyone could hate them, but I have a friend who hates them.
Everyone has diffrent views of how they live their live.


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Re: Sometimes suicide really angers me. - June 27th 2009, 03:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mexico View Post
Remember not everyone thinks that "life is all great." I may think hotdogs are delicious and I don't understand how anyone could hate them, but I have a friend who hates them.
Everyone has diffrent views of how they live their live.
Well yeah, I understand that, I don't always think life is great either, but still, not always liking your life is not reason enough to end it. There's bad in the world, and negative feelings, sure, but there's also good. And I think that most people who can honestly hate their lives enough to kill themselves simply don't try to see enough of the good.





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Re: Sometimes suicide really angers me. - June 27th 2009, 03:53 AM

Hey Amanda,
I understand what you are saying too. Our emotions tend to override our decision making, thus leading us to deal with different situations in different ways.

However when someone is in the midst of depression, that's all they see, is hate, and how they hate themselves, and they don't see the good in their lives, when in fact they are blessed with life. That's why they need help and support to see this.
   
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Re: Sometimes suicide really angers me. - June 27th 2009, 12:31 PM

Hey Amanda,

I understand what you are saying but I think there are things you aren't taking into consideration.

First depression is a disease too. It may not be a terminal disease like cancer but it is a disease that kills too. Without the right treatment and what not people die from it(yes suicide) but it isn't necessarily because they don't appreciate life it is partly to do with the chemical imbalance it their brain that causes them to get sad and want to die. If you read it to it it makes more sense.

Secondly, when people are suicidal it doesn't mean they don't appreciate life or know that they should appreciate life it's just no matter how hard they try they can't. I will give you an example: me. I was suicidal for a long time and I knew it was wrong and I hated myself for it because I used to think 'its not fair that people have cancer and are dying and here I am not being appreciating what I have'. I used to hate myself because I couldn't appreciate the fact that I was 'lucky' to be alive.

Anyway, my german teacher(who was the best person I knew) relapsed with breast cancer my junior year. That year also happened to be the year I was really suicidal and what not. Her cancer caused me to feel even worse for my thoughts because I kept thinking 'if she can appreciate her life, with the cancer, why can't I appreciate mine?" I ended up trying to kill myself that year and I felt awful because I was like what will my german teacher think about me and my unappreciativeness and my weaknesses. She ended up sending me a card telling me ''Be kind to yourself because you are kind to others, be strong because you are. Over the last three years, watching you knowing I had your trust has kept me strong." Her words were the words that made me realize that it wasn't that I didn't appreciate life it was that I couldn't appreciate life because I too was sick.

Does that make sense? I mean people who commit suicide or think about it don't necessarily not appreciate it or not realize what a gift it is they are in too much pain and what not to really really take it in.

Please don't think I am attacking you because I get what you are saying. I was just stating my opinion and sorrying this is sooooo long.


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Re: Sometimes suicide really angers me. - June 27th 2009, 06:06 PM

I appreciate your opinion and value it but this thread just makes me want to cry and kill myself even more than before. Apparently Im not trying hard enough, its like its my own fault, all I get from this is that I am selfish, nasty and ungrateful I dont understand how you could say something like that


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Re: Sometimes suicide really angers me. - June 27th 2009, 06:53 PM

I understand where you're coming from and why you think that way, but I have also considered it and it isn't an act of selfishness even though it seems that way it's an act of desparation to get out or away from something when it feels like you have no other choice. It's also often though not always impulsive so in the moment, even if someone realizes that there are other solutions, those solutions are hard and take time and the person wants out NOW.
   
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Re: Sometimes suicide really angers me. - June 28th 2009, 12:05 AM

I feel as if I kind of owe and apology for some of the things that I said in this thread.
To clarify, my intention was not to insult anyone who has felt suicidal in the past. Maybe not everyone will agree with me when I say this, but I simply believe that depression is not the worst emotion out there, and there are many better ways to get through it than suicide. Taking away the life that you were given simply is not the right choice - however, I did not mean that anyone who had made that choice is a terrible person, there are simply better choices that they could have made.

I didn't mean to offend anyone by posting this, and I'm very sorry if I did. I understand what it is like to feel suicidal, believe me. I am not judging anyone who is suicidal in anyway, and I am sorry if that is how I came across in this post.





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Re: Sometimes suicide really angers me. - June 28th 2009, 12:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenn x View Post
I appreciate your opinion and value it but this thread just makes me want to cry and kill myself even more than before. Apparently Im not trying hard enough, its like its my own fault, all I get from this is that I am selfish, nasty and ungrateful I dont understand how you could say something like that
Jenn I don't think any of those things about you! In fact I think the opposite. I know I don't know you well but you try to help people and encourage people and the fact that you are still hanging on is a good thing. No one is weak on selfish for thinking about suicide.


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Re: Sometimes suicide really angers me. - June 28th 2009, 12:57 AM

You have a right to think what you want. This is your opinion. Just wanted to let you know that I'm glad you stepped up and spoke out.

If anyone feels bad about the things you said, It's not your fault, you marked it triggering.


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