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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Dream Offline
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This Doesn't End - July 1st 2009, 06:46 AM

I have been wondering how I would act if I wasn't depressed, and I honestly don't know. Would I enjoy myself? Would I work? World I help others? I don't know.

I wish I had someone to talk to who I also could be with in person. I also want a girlfriend so much, but I get to continue to be patient.

I am so lonely, and I feel so worthless. I feel absolutely worthless. How could I ever ask someone to be with me when I am this worthless? I am so afraid and now I just want security, but there is none. I wish every day that I was a different person.



   
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Re: This Doesn't End - July 1st 2009, 06:55 AM

heya,

you are not worthless, you're very helpful and nice. it might seem like you're worthless and bad but it's not true at all. why not speak positive words over yourself instead of negative words.... words can be very powerful and maybe the more you speak positive words the more positive and happy you become.

things would be a lot different if you didn't feel so depressed. you wouldn't be as heavy, you would feel more free, you probably have an easier time at making friends and stuff. that's why you need to work at not being depressed anymore!

talk to somebody, could you possibly see a counselor and see what they have to say? they can be very helpful! feel free to PM me whenever you would like! i'll always be here for you<3


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Re: This Doesn't End - July 1st 2009, 06:55 AM

Hey there,

*hugs*

I'm sorry that things are feeling so low right now

For someone to talk to... are there any friends you feel comfortable talking to? Or a cousin or uncle or aunt? Sometimes counselors can even be really nice to talk to.

You are not worthless. I promise. You are a living person, an entire world in your own right, so you are worth the world. And to a certain extent, you get to decide what that world looks like - while we can't change to be another person, we can change ourselves. It's never too late for us to be the person we wish to become. Maybe try taking a step back and ask what's really bothering you about yourself, and then try to come up with some practical ways to do that. For example, if you don't like your level of self-confidence, pick a hobby (let's say you like juggling) and work on developing that, to give you something that you feel comfortable and at ease with yourself doing, or try making it a point to smile at strangers.

I've found that things like wrapping a blanket snugly around one's self or holding a pillow to your chest can sometimes help a surprising lot in feeling secure, at least for the moment.

Take care of yourself, and hang in there.


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Re: This Doesn't End - July 1st 2009, 07:02 AM

I've had similar thoughts to you... I want to help you, so let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I have a REALLY bad headache right now, so I'm going to do my best to sum up what I'd say on a non-headache day...

I had a talk with a youngish teacher of mine one time (she was really cool & easy to talk to) and she went through a really bad breakup (they had been together for 5 years) and she felt so worthless, that her life was over, there was nothing to look forward to, and she was lonely (similar to you).

She decided to try and build up herself. She read a few books, and it made her realize that until she can find herself living happily on her own, she won't be able to find happiness elsewhere. She started becoming more and more confident in who she was, and instead of waiting for the world to throw her a glimmer of hope, she went out there and found it. She was single for a year, but now she's found a new love- they've been together for awhile now, and she's never been happier.

The moral? You need to find happiness for yourself. Find things that you enjoy, and expand upon them. Find out who you are inside. You'd be surprised to find that relationship opportunities generally come up most when you're most comfortable being alone.

Again, I'm sorry if this doesnt make sense... But I hope I helped. And I'd love to help further =) feel free to ask for more advice or PM!!

I really hope things get better; I feel ya. I'm currently struggling to find happiness in myself as well.


"I'm not old enough to understand girls."
"Heh, I don't think anybody lives THAT long."
   
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Re: This Doesn't End - July 1st 2009, 07:13 PM

Hey Dream.

I think many people that are depressed do wonder what they would feel or act if they didn't have depression. I definitely believe that you would have a better mindset and enjoy life more. Low self-esteem and confidence are big roadblocks to overcome in terms of heading in the right path to deal with depression. It is definitely possible.

Patience is a good virtue to have. It does take time to deal with effectively getting over depression. I think the solution is more with having a positive mindset for yourself, rather than having something or someone to make your mindset better. Try to find many different things in your life that can give you interest or passion. Maybe something like a hobby, sport or volunteering would be good. Don't let 'I can't do this' get in the way of not letting you pursue things that you want to do!

You are worthy of enjoying your life. Proclaim it. Get up on a chair and say.

'I am worthy'.

It's much better than sitting down on that same chair and passively wait for something. I really do believe that working on your self-confidence and improving yourself will help you with being confident with talking to other people.

If you need any help or someone to talk to, PM me.
   
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Re: This Doesn't End - July 2nd 2009, 01:43 AM

Hey there,

I used to wonder the same exact things as you and the answer is you would probably start to enjoy life more. Do not get me wrong, life will always have its ups and downs and there will be times when you will be like 'ehh I don't feel so happy' but as a whole life will probably start getting better.

You are not worthless. I know you have probably heard this before but no one in the world is worthless because then they wouldn't have been born. Sometimes depression/sadness makes us think bad things about ourselves; things that are not true. Please try not to listen to those thoughts because then you will be letting the depression win and you deserve so much better than that. You deserve a chance at a happy life and you can find it.

As for finding a girlfriend, that can happen. I know that waiting sucks but sometimes waiting is the best thing to do. Right now might not be the best time for a girlfriend anyways. Wait until you start feeling a little happier with life and yourself and then maybe you could really start persuing a girlfriend. I am sure you are a great person so don't worry about finding someone because with time it will happen.

Now, have you considered talking to someone about all of this? Getting help for what is bothering you? I know that that might be hard to do but in the end it really might help. Please consider it.

Stay safe and if you need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.


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