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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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EternalDesire Offline
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Really depressed. - July 9th 2009, 01:49 PM

I know it's long, but please read it, I'm willing to do anything for a solution.


Since I'm in an only boy school I don't get to see girls much, so I have a hard time being with or near them.
Other boys who have the experience or have the courage go up and do their things, hug, kiss or whatever. It seems without even wanting, I get jelous when I see a girl getting kissed by the boy.

Well, just those girls who are pretty, even if they are much younger than me.
Since 3rd grade I thought it's the feeling you get when you have a crush on someone, but it isn't. It's the feeling of jealousy, that's what I recently understood when I saw I "got attracted" to 2 girls. That's not normal in crushes, though, I don't even know those girls and I don't even like them.

Now I'm sure it's the feelings of jealousy, I have it every time I'm alone or when I wake up.
The only thing I can do to get it away is ---------.
I don't feel right filling that in. I started doing it since 2nd grade when I was feeling down.

But now, I get occasionally upset since I see everyone kissing and hugging freely when I never even once done anything like that.
I see that during the summer when I go to a camp or a course...
Well, now...

I know the reason why I'm jealous of those girls. <<--- As in, I want to be with them.

1) I don't want other boys to be with them.
2) Boys are usually around them.

That's how the jealousy begins.

I usually cry my heart out when my parents aren't home and I play with the knife. I know I won't kill myself with it, though, I've turned crazy enough to think that there is something or someone watching me which could help me.
Just so you understand, if I don't think about that option, I just feel hopeless and I could actually hurt myself... But that "option" just makes me feel better.

My parents don't want me to go to anyone or to talk to anyone, they think they can solve the problem. They won't transfer me to a different non-boys-only school since I'm religious. I haven't told them anything of course, but they think I have no problem and I'm a normal kid.

I really need help and fast.
I've been crying for years now thinking that I really do have a crush on those certain girls. Only 4 days ago I realized that it's jealousy causing it, not a crush.

Not an item-jealousy, it's more of the jealousy you get when you want to do something and you don't know how to do it. (Like making a move to talk to a girl about a certain thing)

I'll do anything so this pain stops. I lived with it for 8 years and I need a solution for it to pass. PLEASE, HELP ME!
   
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Lil-x Offline
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Re: Really depressed. - July 9th 2009, 02:03 PM

I'm sorry, I got kinda' confused reading that..So your tired of the pain of jealousy?

Is it just those certain girls who make you feel that way? The only thing I can think to suggest Is going out with a group of mates, and socialising a bit. Who says you can't be one of the guys who go's up to girls? There isn't any reason why you should't or that well; your religion should get in the way of that. I'm not sure how strongly religous you are. But really the best thing to do is start seeing a councellor or talking to someone, why won't your parents let you get any help if they can see your in pain? Do you actually SH?

I'm so sorry your feeling like this, it must be really getting you down.

The next step would of course be finding someone you are actually attracted to and getting to know them better. It really isn't all that hard to go out and meet girls, it could seem daunting. But, confidence is the key

The first time you get a girlfriend, will make doing it again seem so much easier and you'll look back and wonder why you shed so many tears over this. It's OK to let your emotions out by crying, SH isn't the answer, although I would understand if you said that is how you coped.

When I say confidence, I don't mean turn into one of the arrogant lads your so jealous of. I'm talking about smiling and/or approaching a girl. If you meet someone you like, either by going out, or through friends of friends, etc..post on here and I will be more than willing to help you through the first stages if you think that is what you need.

Take things one step at a time hun, you'll meet someone i'm sure.

Best of luck, and my PM inbox is always open if you wanna' talk

xx
   
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live.laugh.love
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Re: Really depressed. - July 9th 2009, 03:39 PM

Hey,

That must be hard having felt that way for quite a long time. Jealousy isn't fun to deal with I'm sure. If you want to talk and be with a girl though, you have to just go for it. If you see somebody that you are interested in, go over and introduce yourself. Then just start a conversation. Don't just stick to the back.

If it's hard to actually meet girls, then I suggest getting involved in community activities. That's a way to meet people.

Hurting yourself isn't going to help you though. I mean, you might think that it is, but it's really not. Why won't your parents let you talk to somebody; let them know that you aren't find and that you meed to talk to somebody. If they refuse, then is there another family member, friend, or trusted adult; i.e. coach, teacher, pastor, etc, that you could talk with? They can all be very helpful.

Hang in there.
PM me anytime.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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