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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Anomaly Offline
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I feel so alone - July 9th 2009, 11:13 PM

I really do and its so stupid.

I know its only because I get depressed every summer and Ill feel better once I start school again even though I hate school. But God its frustrating. I dont like dealing with these emotions.

I havent cut since Easter. I know thats a good thing but I just want to do it again. Not anything major just one cut on my wrist and Il be fine.

Im going to church camp monday and Im not gonna get to talk with you guys for a week and the 2 friends I invited cant go. Im a very shy reserved person when im not on the internet. So im never gonna talk and its just uhh. I need to stop complaining. I just got my permit I should be happy.

My best friend and ex (who im in love with but hes over me) wont talk to me. I keep trying to make plains and they can never do that and there the only ppl I wanna hang out with. I have another friend that im always with and will prolly go over there again this weekend but i dont enjoy it, its just routine. She always yells at me and treats me like im some little kid and it really makes me mad. If I ever say anything about it she makes it out to seem that Im overreacting so I just deal with it and hang with her.


I feel like nobody likes me noboyd wants to be with me talk to me. They just do it because they feel they have to.

I need to cry once again but I'll hold it in instead. Wont let ppl know that Im not ok anymore.


   
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dancer Offline
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Re: I feel so alone - July 10th 2009, 04:01 AM

Hey Kendi,

how you feel is perfectly valid. It sucks feeling that way, but it's not stupid that you do.

Please don't hurt yourself. It's amazing that you haven't cut since Easter! You should be soooooo proud of that. Keep hanging on to your alternatives. Because how will cutting really help? In the end, it doesn't actually solve anything. And you're worth finding real solutions for.

Congratulations on the permit! And maybe try finding someone, just one person, at church camp, who you might be able to make as a new friend, and work on talking to them? You're an amazing person, and have a lot to be confident in with other people.

And you deserve to hang out with people who recognize that. Your friend isn't acting like a friend, and you don't have to put up with how she treats you. You're a person and have the right to be treated as one. Again, maybe try finding some people at church camp you could hang out with?

It's okay to cry. You don't have to pretend to be okay. You deserve to be seen.

Hang in there. And feel free to PM me anytime!


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dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: I feel so alone - July 11th 2009, 09:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by yaitsme View Post
...I get depressed every summer and Ill feel better once I start school again even though I hate school.
I feel that too. For me, it's from the fact that in the summer you stay home and don't see others. So, I get depressed that I'm stuck by myself. I hate the guys in my school too, but I like going back to school because it's better to be with someone than with no one. If the same is for you, I suggest to get out more and get a job or volunteer. That way, you get to be with others.


Quote:
Originally Posted by yaitsme View Post
I feel like nobody likes me noboyd wants to be with me talk to me. They just do it because they feel they have to.
Forget about what others feel or say about you. They probably aren't that important themselves. What they say shouldn't make a difference anyway. If it does, it is because you think it makes a difference. Look at people like George Bush. Everybody hates him but do you see him cry on TV about it? No... because he knows to not care.


Quote:
Originally Posted by yaitsme View Post
I need to cry once again but I'll hold it in instead. Wont let ppl know that Im not ok anymore.
I think it's perfectly ok to cry. You need to let loose the emotions. Just do it when nobody is looking. Crying is like A/C. You need to vent every once in a while. If you let it loose all at once, you will break.
   
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