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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
I-Love-him Offline
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should i go or not? your opinions please - July 10th 2009, 06:49 PM

ok not sure if this is the right thread to put this in, please move if you think it's inapropriate for this thread

right, i have major issues concerning my image. i'm getting a lot better lately because i've found the most amazing boyfriend,i'm starting to do old hobbies again and i'm enjoying life but i still get down about them sometimes.

i love horses, i've recently started horse riding again after two years of not doing it. i started it again because i felt it was who i was and i was missing it.anyway, i'm doing some lessons to improve my riding because i've picked up bad habits in the past 2 years of not riding. in a few weeks i may go out hacking in a group at the stables i learn at (hacking is basicaly horse riding in a group in fields,lots of galloping :-D). i was really excited until today, i saw these girls at the stables who were going hacking and they were extremely beautiful!!!! now i'm not so sure i should go because i'm so self concious and criticise myself too much, if i went and saw beautiful girls, i would instantly be upset,i'm vunerable when i ride because i wear my hair back and that makes me look my ugliest. i know i won't make any friends because i don't like beautiful people because i feel threatened, i have a boyfriend,i'm not willing to loose him to a beautiful girl!!!. i don't know what to do, if i go i may be really upset and hate myself and i won't make any friends,i'm not good socially, if i don't go i could be missing out on a good ride and i may blame my looks for not being able to go and i may put myself down for it even more but if i go i'll still put myself down.

what do you guys think i should do?? another thing is,i barely no anyone there!! so i will be alone with a bunch of beautiful girls who hate me . what would you do in my situation??
i'm so confused. and this is stressing me out lol
i've even asked my boyfriend and he doesn't know what to suggest lol
thanks in advance for any help.
   
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Re: should i go or not? your opinions please - July 10th 2009, 07:13 PM

I'm glad you are doing things that you like again. I think it is a great idea to go out for a ride and meet some new people. People need to understand that it is not what is on the outside that counts but what is on the inside really counts. If they don't understand that and don't want to be your friend then it is their loss not yours. Just keep trying to talk to people and making new friends. Someone will want to let you ride with them and be your friend.


P.M me anytime you need or want to talk to me. God Bless.
   
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Re: should i go or not? your opinions please - July 11th 2009, 04:54 AM

Hey,

I am glad you are doing these types of things again. Sometimes being around people can be hard especially when we believe that these people are 'better' than us in some way but the thing is no one is better than any other person. Also, like casi said, if the people don't accept you for you than you don't want to be friends with them anyways.

I used to pretend to be something I wasn't just to have friends and then I realized I didn't want to do that anymore. Lately I have been trying to let people see the real me and accept me for me; if they choose not to I say 'your bad not mine.' I will admit that it is not the easiest thing to do and sometimes it can make me sad but in the end I do feel better about myself and about life because I don't have to hide who I am; I can be me and you should have that oppurtunity too.

Anyway, I think you shouldn't let your fears stop you from trying to make friends because in the end you deserve to have friends. So please go hacking and try your hardest to enjoy it. Don't let anyone else make you feel any less about yourself either.

I wanted to say that I am sure your boyfriend loves you should not feel threatened by 'pretty' girls; you should try not to think so low of yourself. I am sure you are a great person and a pretty person too.

Please hang in there and if you need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.


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Re: should i go or not? your opinions please - July 11th 2009, 09:25 PM

I love to ride horses but I havent done it in years its good that you get to do something that you love.

I get how you feel about being self consious im the same way. Almost all of my friends are really pretty. And when I was just starting to be friends with them I did feel weird around them but then I got used to it. And I started thinking just because im not as pretty as my friends dosent mean that im just really really ugly. I didnt want to waste my time being self concious when I could be having a good time. So I just bascially learned to deal with it.

I am also very anti social when not online. When im around people I dont know I just sit there the entire time and never talk. I really think you should still go though. When your with them and there having a convo just put some input in and then youll be in the convo so you might feel more comfortable.

Dont assume that those girls hate you, you said that you dont know them so they prolly dont know you either. They cant hate you if they've never met you before. So try not and let that getting in the way of you talking to them and having fun.

If I was in your situation, I would go even though I felt a little uncomfortable. Because its important that I have fun to just like its important for you to have fun. And also since your not social putting you in those environments could help you out.

Pm me if you ever want to talk, I hope you go horseback riding and enjoy yourself.


   
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Re: should i go or not? your opinions please - July 12th 2009, 10:45 AM

thanks everyone for the replies
i think i may have a go at it, i will try it once and if i don't like it i won't go again.

thing is, how do i start a conversation?? they'll be all talking to eachother,so what do i say??? i'm so bad at social situations too lol.

another worry i have is,what if i fall off the horse and no one comes to help me because they don't like me??? or they all laugh at me?? that would be so embaressing!!!.

and someone said something about i shouldn't feel threatend by pretty girls around my boyfriend or something?? i know i shouldn't,he's with me for me but i can't help but think he deserves better.

anyway thanks for the replies. i'm still a little nervous
   
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Re: should i go or not? your opinions please - July 12th 2009, 12:49 PM

well im not very good at coming up with random convos for an example but hmm lets see....maybe there like talking about a movie they want to go see like idk Transformers (i say that cuz i recently saw that lol) and if you've seen it you can be like yeah it was really good or if you havent just say you've really been wanting to see that to. I know thats a stupid example but I couldnt think of anything else lol.

And im pretty sure if you fall of your horse they'll come check on you even if they didnt like you im pretty sure that theyd check on you I mean they cant be that mean.

Goodluck


   
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