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JoanneRose Offline
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I feel alone. and i need help. - July 13th 2009, 01:12 AM

This is the last place i thought id end up spreading my feelings. i used to think that these forums were just a way of getting attention.
But recently all my friends decided to bugger off because they thought that i was a drama queen and i was only using them for their weed. when i wasnt i was simply just really enjoying their company and thought they were the best friends ever. and one friend was my best friend ever and i knew her before i started hanging round with the other guys. and since theyve come shes fallen in love with one of them and she seems to like the others better so ive just been left on my own. now i have some mates and a boyfriend. and thats great but the mates that i have got are not exactly close. and then my family. my sister lives in london and i dont see her ever. and my nan lives in portsmouth and i dont see her ever either. and my mum wants to move to london and leave my dad whos an alcholic. and she wants me to come with her. now i know she deserves a better life but my dad suffers with depression as it is and i know that if we just leave him hes going to drink himself to death and also my boyfriend is the only person ive got right now barr my family and i really dont wanna leave him. but yet my mum deserves a better life without being tied down by an alcholic that doesnt stop having a go. ive got bipolar and all this just seems to be tipping me over the edge. can someone help me please?
Jo xxxx
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AshlieRose Offline
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Re: I feel alone. and i need help. - July 13th 2009, 02:52 AM

hey, so it seems like you've got a lot of stuff going on right now. n u may feel like you're headed into a rut of some sort? well if i were you, i would focus on anything and everything i can think of that brings me up-positive things. n your mom may want to leave and get away from your dad and i can see how that would hurt. maybe you should talk with both of them and let them know what's goin on with you and how it's hurting you. and try and go out with the people that keep you smiling and happy. that's key in situations that aren't so great.. spending time with positive people.
hope things get better soon. just know that they can and will<3.
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Re: I feel alone. and i need help. - July 13th 2009, 04:34 PM


I'm glad you came to the forums to at least vent, even with your past opinion of it. It seems to me like everything is a little hectic with you right now, and I'm sorry to hear that. I can completely understand having someone and wanting to stay with them because they're the only one you might have at a moment. However, just like you gained him, you can gain friends in London as well. Maybe he might be willing to keep in contact? It's just another suggestion, you can't have too many of those in situations like this. Unfortunately, your past friends don't seem like they were the most loyal. I know it's hard to deal with losing people that you care about, but it's better to find out now than believing they care when they don't. As for your current friends, even though you might not be the closest bunch, that's okay. They give you a place to let loose and be yourself. Maybe you can try to initiate a meaningful conversation with one of them sometime? You never know what might happen. Sometimes, all we need to do is reach out.

As for your family, you and your mom deserve a stable environment to function and develop. Unfortunately, being with your father and his alcoholic tendency, that isn't providing what you need. However, I can also understand wanting to stay with your boyfriend. Maybe you can talk to you mom and agree to stay in the same area, without living with your father. This way you and her can begin the stable life you need, without losing someone you care deeply for. If that can't happen, I don't suggest staying with your father. I understand he may have problems, but that's his job to confront. If he isn't ready to fix and try to confront them, then that's something he needs to work out. You shouldn't suffer because of it. The best thing for you now, I think, is a good and stable place to grow up. Your father is a grown man, and maybe this might be what he needs to get back on track? I know it might be hard, but sometimes we all need a fresh start once in a while. If you need anyone to talk to about this, feel free to PM me and let me know. :] You're not alone.

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Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
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JoanneRose Offline
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Re: I feel alone. and i need help. - July 13th 2009, 04:55 PM

Thanks for that. it helps in some aspect but im still unsure as my dad split up with my mum about a year ago and he went down the complete binge drinking track and was so depressed. i couldnt bare to leave him like that again and my mum hasnt told my dad that she wants to go so talking to both of them isnt an option. Im just kinda stuck in the middle and i know that i will make friends in london and i really am happy to leave this place. its just the people that i leave behind are the ones that i cherish the most and i dont know what the hell to do. im not suicidal so i dont know why i am on here. i think about it time to time. but then i would never have the actual balls to do it to myself, so thats nothing to worry about. and im actually quite a nice person under all this stress, but my personality can never shine through because of all the stuff im going through and the people that i have tryed to reach out too who i thought were my real friends just turned out to call me a drama queen. I know there not the biggest problems in the world. but their still dragging me down. and my bipolar is in the stage of depression atm which makes things ten times worse.
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Re: I feel alone. and i need help. - July 14th 2009, 03:42 AM

Hi Jo,

so, I definitely second everyone's earlier advice. And what's going on with your parents - you deserve to be in a situation that's healthy for you. You get to do what's best for you. Your parents are adults and make their own decisions; you're not responsible for them. I know that that's easier said than done, though. I tend to worry about making sure that my family is okay first before me, too. Is there any way you could get help for your dad? Some sort of program, or have a relative or neighbor or a friend of his or something help look out for him? Or is there any sort of family counselor you could try going to, and bring your parents along, so that the three of you can get out what you need to in an environment that'll help keep down the confrontation? Or maybe try talking to just your mom about how you're feeling, and ask her how she thinks the situation could best be sorted out for everyone?

And for those that you might be leaving behind - just because you're leaving them in a different place doesn't mean that you have to leave them in the past. You can still maintain a connection with them through things like calling, emailing, picking one day a month or a holiday or something to get together, things like that.

You deserve to have the chance to let your personality shine through. Make sure you're taking time each day to just press pause on all the stuff that you've been dealing with to do something good for you. That can help you maintain your "you-ness" when you're in the midst of all the stress, too.

Hang in there. Things will get better.

Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
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