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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Christinaa317o8 Offline
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This Might be a Stupid Question - July 13th 2009, 02:34 PM

Is it at all normal to think about killing myself. Like wanting to if under certain circumstances?

I'm not sure but part of me thinks that everyone goes through the phase of wanting to die at one point or another. Like when my dad died two years later nothing had gotten easier and I wanted to die. I didn't plan it out in my head like I am now, so I think that might have been normal.

But now, going through a break-up or I'm not even sure if we're broken up. Maybe its a break but I don't know. I feel completely hopeless for more reasons than that. My uncle, the next best thing to having a dad, has cancer.

My nightmares lefts for two weeks and now they're back again. I can't fall asleep until one in the morning.

I think about hurting myself bad enough to die. I know this is bad. Should I tell my counselor when I see her next? I lied to her already by saying I've never self harmed, I thought it was okay since I've stopped for about two months.

What can I do to make these thoughts leave. They're really disturbing.

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Prozac Offline
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Re: This Might be a Stupid Question - July 13th 2009, 02:53 PM

Hi Christina,

I don’t know if it’s particularly ‘normal’ to think about killing yourself – what is normal anyway? Normal is a silly word in my opinion.

I can say that a lot of people probably do think about killing themselves, I know that I have. Some people think about it in sheer curiosity – maybe with absolutely no intent to do it, but just wondering about it. Some other people may think through a plan and perhaps think about getting the means t o do it and going through with their plan – that’s where things really do start to become alarming. I think it is okay to wonder about suicide, but it’s something else when you actually make a plan and begin to go through with it. I think that because you are making a plan, you should be concerned and aware of what you’re thinking about.

I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through right now Christina. It seems like you are going through quite a difficult time with your boyfriend and the news about your uncle. It is completely understandable that you are not feeling your best right now – I would imagine that most people would be feeling stressed out and upset under these circumstances. Your sleep patterns won’t be helping either – it can really affect you if you’re not getting any sleep.

I think that it would be an absolutely great idea to tell your counsellor about these thoughts you have been having. It is important to be honest with your counsellor in order for her to help you. You can’t be helped if you don’t tell people how you are feeling. It is very hard to be open and honest, I know that, but it is very worthwhile when you do manage to tell someone. If you don’t think you can be honest or it is too hard for you to say, you could even write what you’ve said down or print it off and she can read it – that may be easier for you.

There is no ‘quick-fix’ for suicidal thoughts and feelings (Oh, how I wish there was!) but I can tell you that things do get slightly easier in time and talking really, really does help – so please, try and tell your counsellor about how you’re feeling.

Take care.
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Re: This Might be a Stupid Question - July 13th 2009, 03:11 PM

Hey Christina, we haven't really talked much but I've seen you around the boards.

To answer your question, it's normal for some, not normal for others. It depends on the ideology of the person that's having the thoughts. Is it normal for you to be thinking about suicide all the time? Is it different? Chances are, because you're asking this question, it's not normal for you.

A lot of people do get to a point in their lives, at least once, where they want to die, yes. I will not say everyone, because select few people are happy-go-lucky-silver-lining people. I want to say how sorry I am about losing one of your parents, that's something horrible to experience that no one should ever, ever go through. Whether or not you had a plan doesn't mean the urges go away, or that they're not serious to begin with, you know?

Secondly, I'm sorry to hear about your break up, but what are the circumstances of you and he breaking up? I can better help you that way, knowing what, exactly, is going on. As for your uncle having cancer, there will be a process with that. What kind of cancer does he have, if you don't mind sharing so I can help you better, or at least try to.

Nightmares are a hard thing to deal with. Some ways of trying to cope with them would be:

If you wake up directly after the nightmare, take a deep breath, look at your surroundings, and assure yourself that the nightmare you saw wasn't real.

If you share a bed with someone and they are awake due to sudden movements you made, tell them you had a nightmare. They will probably offer you a hug or even wake up enough to ask what it was about. Recounting it right away can help you get over the shock. If the person beside you is still asleep, cuddle up with them carefully in order to not disturb them. It may help to lay your ear on their chest, if possible, as the sound of their heartbeat will calm you. Only wake them up if you are truly terrified. They will most likely understand.

Write about your nightmare in detail. Sometimes, writing can give you insights into what is happening or at least offer a sense of closure.

Tell someone else about your nightmare. While they may not understand, a sympathetic ear can always help.

Look up the theme of your nightmare in a dream dictionary. You can find them online or in a bookstore. While not always accurate, dream dictionaries can get you thinking about what your subconscious may be trying to tell you.

If you are a religious person, seek your God and pray

Play soft quiet music to help you return to sleep

Read a peaceful book or listen to calming music before going to bed.

Think of pleasant thoughts as you go to sleep.

If it fits into your religious beliefs, go to a Pagan or Occult shop and buy a small piece of amethyst, it is a purple colored gemstone that promotes rest, place it on the headboard of your bed, or under your pillow or buy an uncut piece of rose quartz which is said to prevent nightmares.

Try not to be in fear and look at the bright side of how imaginative it was, maybe draw a scene of it on paper.

I did get these on the internet, on a Wikihow page, Clicky!. I used to have bad, very bad, nightmares. I wrote about my nightmares more than anything, be it on the computer, and read it over and over until I realized they weren't real, what was happened in the nightmares would never happen again, and it was dealt with.

In regards to your counselor? I would tell her as soon as you can. Fear may try to tell you to do otherwise, but please don't listen to fear. You're stronger than that fear, and you can beat the fact that you're afraid to talk about it. I'm glad that you've stopped self harming, Christina. I really am proud of you, as empty as that may sound sound coming from a stranger, it's the truth.

I wish you the best of luck, and if you need me, do PM/VM me, or MSN. That's always fine for me too.


||I knew when I looked in his eyes ||
||That he was gonna be
trouble for me ||


  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Pour the Teapot Offline
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Re: This Might be a Stupid Question - July 13th 2009, 04:00 PM

try to quiet these thoughts by thinking about how good it is to live. think of all the things you would miss, and the stuff you would never get to do if you died. once you realize that life is worth living, you won't have these thoughts anymore. PM me anytime for anything.
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