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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
sweetve19 Offline
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Mom says its my fault. - July 15th 2009, 12:07 AM

my mom said my depression was my fault. that i read to much into things. that i just WANT myself to feel like this.

... im to a point where i just hate my parents and still love them. which is ripping me apart.

they caught me drinking... and they didnt even CARE. they are just using it as an excuse to make me clean and do everything.

they didnt yell or anything. they just say "nope you cant go out anymore. the house is a mess"

... Fck my life.

i just wanna kill myself. but i wont/cant cuz me and my BFF said that we wont ever leave the other one.

i guess i just need a way to force it threw there brains to let me hang out again. because truth is, i did it because i was mad at them. but if i told them that.... i wouldnt need to kill myself cuz they'd already have me 6 feet under.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Pour the Teapot Offline
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Re: Mom says its my fault. - July 15th 2009, 12:16 AM

don't kill yourself, sit your parents down and tell them that they're not helping anything by being the way they are. tell them that you need help, and that it's their responsibilty to give it to you. PM me anytime!
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Re: Mom says its my fault. - July 15th 2009, 12:50 AM

you need to sit down and have a talk with your parents. tell them how you have been feeling, talk about the depression/suicidal feelings and tell them that it's not your fault and that you don't want to feel that way. print off material of teenage depression and give it to them to read, etc.

if they still don't listen to you, is there anybody else you could talk to when you feel depressed, friends, family members, other trusted adults. finding somebody to talk with is a must for deperssion because support is a good thing to have. talking really does help.

as for the letting you go out again. your parents are probably mad and that's their form of punishment and they just didn't feel like getting into a huge arguement. it doesn't mean they don't care that you were drinking. and doing something because you're mad is also not a good idea, i've done that and it only leads to more trouble. if you're mad just do something healthy and that won't cause you to get into trouble.

try talking to your parents and ask if you clean up if you could go out with some friends for the night.

good luck, pm me if you wanna talk.
hang in there.

when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
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Re: Mom says its my fault. - July 15th 2009, 02:54 AM

I'm all for what the other posters said, but I know from personal experience that talking with your parents is also a bad approach. I have the scars on my back to prove that. From what I read it, it sounds like there is the possibility that your parents thinking your blowing your depression out of proportion.

Maybe you can convince them to let you out by doing what they say without hesitation. Perhaps if you clean everything and take the initiative, they might run out of punishment ideas. It worked for me and from here I just out smarted them so they would let me leave.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Mom says its my fault. - July 15th 2009, 11:09 PM

Hey hugs. I know the feeling of being blamed for something that isn't your fault.
I would say maybe try to work on the drinking, stop drinking as much or try to stay sober for a set period of time-create a goal for yourself.
Of course your depression is NOT your fault, BUT you are the only one that can really change things for yourself. If you aren't motivated to help yourself then there isn't a great chance on coming up from this down easily. Since your parents know, I'm assuming at least a few people know. If your BFF knows please start talking to them and seeking help from them-if they don't, talk to them about your depression.
As for talking to your parents, it depends on your parents. If they are the kind to lash out at you then I'd say don't talk to them.
Don't put suicide on your list of things...you are 15. You have a long time ahead of you to make changes and live for the best. Life is horrible at times, but there are so many moments that make life worth living.
Do realize that your parents are trying to help. By not allowing you to go out they are hoping that you won't drink as much. They are trying to do their jobs as parents. Please don't take this wrong, but they are trying to help you. They have an internal debate saying "would it make me a bad parent to let my child drink? Or would it make me a bad parent to try to help". Talk to them about drinking, maybe not the depression. That part is up to you.
Stay safe
PM anytime

Leave the past behind, just walk away
When it's over, and the heart break
And the cracks begin to show

*~*~This little girl was alone in the world~*~*
Hold Onto Hope
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Mom says its my fault. - July 16th 2009, 03:47 AM

talk to your parent, tell them how you feel sometimes parents dont want to face the fact that their child is hurting becuase maybe theyr scared or dont know what to do themselves talking things through with them make them understand how difficult things can get for you. at the end of the day they love you and they dont want to see you dead no parent ever wants their child dead trust me i'm a mum myslef. if you feel you cant talk to them try writing a letter sometimes its easier to say the things you need to when you write it down. if all else fails talk to your bf or school counsellor. pm me if you need to chat i'm here
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fault, mom

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