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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
bahamachicki Offline
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Unhappy My best friend is gone. - July 15th 2009, 08:24 AM

I'm so depressed. My best friend lives in Colorado. She visited for a few days and now she's gone again. I don't have a lot of friends and I don't know what to do without her. I can't stop crying. *sobs* I feel so alone. help?
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend is gone. - July 15th 2009, 02:44 PM

Hey, I know what it's like to have a friend move away, or to move away from a large group of friends. For reasons that I will not state, I've had to move away from all of my friends three times. It really sucks because I wasn't even allowed to tell them that I was going. To them it must have seemed like I betrayed them.

Anyways, I think what you need to do is make at least one good friend in your area. You shouldn't need many friends if you have another person that you can trust. Get out and do things; join a club, or do some sort of activity that can get you involved with other people. Even if you are shy, it will be easier to make a friend if you find somebody doing an activity that you both enjoy.

Also, if you are depressed, I'd recommend talking to somebody. You can PM me if you want to. I'm not always on here, but I'd reply as quickly as possible. I was in a similar situation once... for several years straight.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend is gone. - July 15th 2009, 04:26 PM

can you make new friends? don't worry, here on TH you will always find friends. PM me anytime.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend is gone. - July 15th 2009, 05:49 PM

Hey there, Melissa! =]

I’m really sorry to hear you’re not having such a good time right now! I know it must be so hard right now, but just try to keep in mind that everything always gets better, always. It’s hard to see that right now, I understand, but just hold onto the hope that you’ll be okay- because you will be! I’m really glad you decided to share this with us, Melissa. Keeping everything inside is never a good idea, so well done for letting it out! Asking for advice is a smart move, so you should be really proud of yourself.

That really sucks about your friend. Are you still able to talk to her? Phone, email, letter writing? If so, then let her know that you’re missing her, and hopefully she’ll be really supportive! I’m sure she misses you too.
I can relate, Melissa, I really can. I recently lost my best friend- in totally different circumstances, but I do understand- so I know how unbelievably hard it is. I know what it’s like to feel like you’re completely alone, and it does hurt, it hurts a lot. But I got through it, because I promised myself I would keep going. You can get through this too, Melissa! You just have to keep telling yourself that you ARE strong enough to get through this bad time, and come out the other side, a much stronger person.

Cry if you need to cry, Melissa. There’s nothing wrong with it. You need to get those emotions out some way, and crying is probably for the best, at the end of the day! Don’t worry about the tears- just let it all out. You won’t cry forever, I know right now it feels like you will, but at some stage, you’re going to start feeling a little better, and the crying will subside a little. But you do need to get those feelings out, so don’t worry about it! =]

You know, it’s perfectly okay to be upset for a few days, or a week, however long you need. So take that time, and look after yourself! Do whatever makes you happy! Curl up all day and read a book or watch movies. Just relax! Because you are going to feel pretty crappy for a while, and that’s all right. But just don’t lose hope, Melissa. Just go to bed every night thinking ‘’Tomorrow will be a little better than today’’, and you know what? It always is. It may not be too obvious, but each day WILL get better. It will! Until one day, you’ll wake up and realize how strong you are, and that you’ve gotten through so much. And you’ll just know that you’re going to be just fine.

Don’t stress yourself out about not having many friends right now. And don’t get into the mindset right now of ‘’I have to make new friends, I have to make new friends’’. Because right now, for a little while, that probably won’t help you at all. But when you feel the time is ready, Melissa, go out and meet some new people! It may be in two weeks time, it may be in two months time, but go get yourself a new hobby- join a club of some sorts, a book club if you like books, just something you know you’d enjoy!- and before you know, you’ll be meeting tons of new people! But don’t put that pressure on yourself right now- just concentrate on YOU, and what YOU need.

Is there anybody you can talk to, Melissa, outside of TH? I know when I was going through this, I opened up and told my mom everything- something I NEVER would have considered before. And she was surprisingly amazing and supportive. Because when you’re dealing with something like this, you do need that support! So chose somebody that you think you can trust, a parent, a sibling, a friend, a family member, just anybody! And let them know that you’re not doing so good right now, and you could do with some support. You’d be amazed at how great some people can be during times like this! It’s not an easy step to take, I know, but jus think about it, ‘kay? Somebody could really surprise you, and end up being mega helpful.

I speak from the heart, and I speak from experience, when I say this Melissa; you WILL be okay. You WILL get through this. Everything is going to be just fine! And I know you probably can’t see that right now, heck, I know I wouldn’t believe anybody when they told me it would be okay, either. But just the other day, I went back and told those people you help me, that they were right all along. What you need to have right now is hope, Melissa. Hope that each day, things will get a little bit easier- and trust me, it will happen. There’s always hope, always. You’re going to be just fine. You’re an amazingly strong person, I just know it.

Just hang in there, Melissa. Everything will work out okay in the end. If you ever need anything at all, please send a message my way! I’d be more than happy to help you out. Stay strong. <3
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Re: My best friend is gone. - July 16th 2009, 03:57 AM

you can always talk to her via email and phone i know it's not the same but it would make her seem closer to you. have you talked to your parents about your feelings maybe they could arrange to drive you up and see her more often. in the mean time why not try and make some new friends? i know it sounds easy try sitting next to someone different in class and say hi to them. you never know you may find there are some great people out there
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Re: My best friend is gone. - July 16th 2009, 02:51 PM

Hey there Melissa,

Wow, it can be really hard when you have to say goodbye to someone for a while after they've visited you, can't it? Someone who I have been extremely close to left to go to another country recently and I cried for days, it can be very upsetting, it's understandable. It's okay though. It's okay to do whatever you have to to work through how you're feeling. It is hard and it takes time to settle down, but you will get used to things.

Saying that, you must realise that just because your friend has moved away, it doesn’t mean that you have to stop being friends with her, right? There’s always the option of e-mailing her, instant messaging, telephone calls and writing letters. You don’t have to be without her. You don’t have to feel alone.

Have you got any other friends, Melissa? Perhaps you could try and build up your friendship with other people right now. It doesn’t mean that you’re any less of a friend to your friend in Colorado, but it may make you feel a little less isolated. If you don’t have many friends or even if you do just want to meet some new people or make new friends then you should try and get out and socialise. You could consider joining a club that you’re interested or try out a new hobby which will help you meet people.

Keeping yourself distracted, in general, may help – even if it’s not particularly with anyone. I actually think that it would be a good idea if you did try and get a new hobby which you can do alone and enjoy your own company – you don’t have to be with someone to have fun, you know? Even if you just start out with reading books or listening to music, that would be a great way to entertain yourself when you’re alone.

Take care, we’re always here for you.
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Re: My best friend is gone. - July 20th 2009, 03:47 AM

Eh! I haate the days after having a great time with friends.
Like, after a great sleepover, or traveling with a group of people, you see em all the time, and then your room is so lonely when it`s only you.


You`re not alone. I would SO be your friend. I don`t have very many myself.
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