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sheltering.sea Offline
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Unhappy I feel like its not worth it anymore - July 17th 2009, 06:55 PM

I don't know what to do anymore.
I had recently cut myself(which is something I never thought I would do).
I feel sadness for no reason. My Mom is very controlling and refuses to listen to me. My brother can't help me. My grandparents are busy and my boyfriend's keyboard is broken. I tried to ask my school counselor for a clinic referral but my Mom refused to sign it and the school can't do crap without parental consent. I wanted to try a doctor but I'm scared of going on medication because of the horrible things I have seen it do to people (my boyfriend was on it but he's off now) and I don't wanna be gone away at the hospital during school because I could fall behind and fail I'm a slow learner sometimes and I have memory problems. I have been feeling sad for years absolutely nothing inspires me. I feel drained. I haven't been eating much. I don't know if life is even worth it anymore. I feel like I wanna die. But I'm too scared to kill myself. Apparently I'm just a stupid child with no rights and I always have to run to a damn adult for help. I wish I could go to the hospital on my own terms but parental consent is ALWAYS involved. I live in the United states btw in Texas the state where every teenager is just "going through a phase" and are all just "a bunch of troublemakers".

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sheltering.sea Offline
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Re: I feel like its not worth it anymore - July 17th 2009, 10:20 PM

I guess I'm stuck then I knew nobody gave a crap

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CherriesBlossom Offline
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Re: I feel like its not worth it anymore - July 18th 2009, 02:36 AM

actually i care.

i know how you feel when it comes to feeling sadness for know reason.
sometime it comes on so fast and strong, but it will pass.
please hang in there.

have you tried sitting down and telling your mom exactly how your feeling
and how you need help?

people do care about you, and we are all here for you.
if you need to pm do so. ill always listen.
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dancer Offline
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Re: I feel like its not worth it anymore - July 18th 2009, 04:28 AM

Hey Oni,

I'm sorry about the late reply. And we do care about you. I promise. Promise-promise-promise.

I'm sorry, too, that you've been going through such a tough time. It seems like you've tried to get help, and I'm sorry that your mother isn't being understanding. But you do deserve to get the help you need - I would definitely suggest talking to your doctor about how you've been feeling. He/she can find ways to help you without necessarily involving medication. And tell him/her about how your mom hasn't been giving consent for you to get the help you need; he/she should be able to help "override" that. I have a friend whose parents wouldn't let her get help and eventually doctors, or you could even call child protective services, will step in, to make sure that you get proper care. And if you ever feel like you're really going to hurt yourself, please call 911. They don't parental consent to help you.

And please try to forgive yourself, too, for having self-harmed. I remember how - shocked, I guess, I was after the first time. But make the decision to stop now, to take care of yourself, to not let it be an option. And be proud of yourself for making that decision.

Because you have a lot to be proud of. You're obviously not "just some teenager," and I've seen your posts around. You and your happiness matter a bunch, Oni.

Hang in there. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
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anymore, feel, worth

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