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xxhearttearxx Offline
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Unhappy weird... - July 19th 2009, 07:25 AM

well lately ive gotten really depressed and dont care about anything basicly. i dont care if i die, i dont care if i cut too deep, i dont care if my parents find out im still cutting. i just want to die and when i fall asleep i always dream of suicial things and the ppl who usually cause it. like my ex. we had an on and off thing since jan. and broke up like begining of july. i think i fell in love with him TOO much. is it possible? i just dont know anymore. but like i was doing really good at not self harming and keeping the depression and suicidal stuff away until like he wouldnt be happy or we broke up, then it crashed, now i cant seem to rebuild it. and i dont know how it built up on him. now i just want to die and i dont know, i dont want my mom to know wat im thinking though. and i told her to get rid of the couslor bc it aint helping. and my paretns already tried to get me in a place to stop but they wouldnt take me bc we dont have insureness. yes i do want to stop but it just feels good just to have some type of control of my pathic life. how do i just get over him and stop cutting and be normal?
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Re: weird... - July 19th 2009, 03:20 PM

hey hun, it's terrible to feel like this isn't it? and it's possible that your ex really affected you alot. really, i think you've to know to respect yourself more. your worth isn't determined by him, or by him being around you. be kinder on yourself. you're someone who's as important as anybody around you. i know how counselling can seem like not much of a help, but it can help you if you know what you want out of counselling and are open to the counsellor.
remember that your parents care about you. maybe try this, every time you think about cutting yourself, imagine that the area you're about to harm belongs to someone close to you like your parents. will you harm him/her?
don't lose hope hun, you're still young and there's a whole lot of life ahead of you, and you're going to have more relationships and possibly breakups so you've to hold firm to the faith that you're an important person and that your worth cannot be determined by anyone else but yourself.
take care!



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the voice of truth says "do not be afraid"
   
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Re: weird... - July 19th 2009, 04:27 PM

Hey there

Reading through your story it feels very alike to mine and lots of others so your not alone in this one. Its normal to love someone way to much. They say in a relationship theres always that one person that loves the other partner more, and that was you.

I hope your well now and reading this, there is hope you just have to take every day when it comes, as for your ex try and keep your self busy and if he really was worth it try and talk to him and see if he wants to be with you, if he doesnt its his loss and you will find someone much better in the future. You never know what will happen tomorrow or the next day. Life has its plan for everyone. Try and avoid the pain of cutting yourself, i know it helps now but in the future when you look at them you will think why did i do this. Everything will be ok
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