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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Faye. Offline
maybe this time...
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Name: Faye
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It seems I'm back at square 1... - July 21st 2009, 11:02 PM

Right, So to cut a long story short, things have not been so good for a long long time. I've been to a therapist to before, it didn't really go anywhere but I put that down to it being the wrong time and place etc. Anyway had a minor crisis earlier this year (lot's of people found out about a lot of things during that period but oh well...) and I decided I wanted to try and get professional help. And now I have an appointment on Friday.

However I've been doing a lot of thinking and have come to the conclusion that I don't want this help. I think that this is something that I need to deal with on my own, yeah things are gonna be hard sometimes but I will have to cope. I think trying to find answers from other people has just been a way for me to cover up the questions I need to ask myself. I need to take a look at myself and see what I really find. I guess I just want to know whether people think this is foolish? I can always try therapists again if after finding the questions I still don't know the answers and I've thought a lot longer and harder about this decision that I ever did about the decision to seek help. Just, I'm not sure. Maybe this is going to be a decision that lasts forever and I won't have a chance to look back? Then again the past isn't a pretty sight and I'm fed up with living it and fed up with the misery it brings.

On a more practical note, I now have a new therapist waiting for me on friday and an overly-emotional mother paying her £50 an hour and how do I tell them this? I think my mum's reaction is scarier than the fact that I'm about to venture into the emotional unknown (well unknown to me )

I'm scared, really scared. It's like that poem 'The Road Not Taken' but it all works in the poem, there's no guarantee that the road I take will lead me anywhere.

But what's life unless you take a risk?

Feel free to PM me

We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think its forever
-Carl Sagan

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
SimplyComplex Offline
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Re: It seems I'm back at square 1... - July 21st 2009, 11:18 PM

Hey there Faye,

First of all, whether you decide to see a therapist or not - I think it's very good of you to be contemplating so much and gaining the courage to at least make an appointment. Either way, you're doing things for the right reasons and I'm glad you're not just trying to back out of counselling. I think it's important that you think these things through. I think it's even more important you make this decision based on you and no one else. Only you can know what's the best solution for yourself. Keep in mind though, that what we want and what we need aren't often the same things. We do need to work on things ourselves, but it's important to work through things properly too. Just because you see a counselor, doesn't mean she's the one doing the work. It's you who decides what and when you open up.

Remember that you're only 14, you have many years left and there will be more things to deal with in the future. No matter what you pick, be sure. No matter what you choose, remember that you can always use the information learned. Whether it be good or bad. You can learn something from anything that happens, as long as you keep an open mind and positive attitude. Try not to worry too much, as either way you can always go back. Trust yourself. You don't know what the future holds, it could be better than what you're expecting.

Maybe try seeing your counselor first and see if anything feels right? If not, then you can postpone seeing him/her and begin your journey on your own. I can understand you're scared and I don't know anyone who wouldn't be. But you're a smart girl. That much is obvious from what you've written here. The fact that you're thinking of all this makes me believe you'll be okay, either choice. You should believe that too. Either choice isn't leading you down a one way street. Sure, both bring new things to cope and deal with - but there isn't a dead end for you. You can always keep going and you can always get through it. You're not alone in this and I support you and your choices 100% - no matter what that may be. This is life and it's amazing and unpredictable and yours to discover. :] PM me if you need anything at all.

Have hope,

01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
lacrotix Offline
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Re: It seems I'm back at square 1... - July 25th 2009, 09:35 PM

Faye, you'll be fine. Your thinking reminds me of my own - always weigh everything and choose the best choice. You sound very careful, so I doubt you'll do something unnecessary like killing yourself or bullying others.

As for your parents, do what you believe is the best. That way, you'll be giving yourself less stress. If you don't want the therapist, just tell your parents. I think they will be convinced both ways. Your thinking can pursuade them to understand what you mean.

In my opinion though, I find learning things through experience and the hard way to be more valuable. I was verbally and emotionally assaulted (aka bullying) throughout my school years - even till this day - and tried a councellor. She wasn't pleasant. What she said made sense, now that I am more mature and can think for myself, but back then it meant nothing. I found the councellor was only there to change your way of thinking, not to comfort you. I eventually learned everything she meant to tell me through the hard way - a lot of pain. Personally, I perfer the wisdom and comfort of a grandparent over a councellor. But that's me.

In the end, choose what you want. You can have both too, in your situation. Both ways, you can't lose.
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