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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Fallen - July 22nd 2009, 08:33 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I tried to kill myself two weeks ago with pills, but I survived, now I'm in a hospital and I hate it. I really really didn't want to survive. Why should it be so hard to just die??? I didn't ask for this stupid life. I'm considering trying again, I have tools to do it, I'm just too afraid to fail once again. I just don't know what to do. I've hit rock bottom and I don't want to crawl my way up again, I just, well I don't know what to do. No one in this fricking hospital understands, and they are too trusting, and I'm too good to act. Just argh!!!! I just want to die, to stop thinking! Please can someone please tell me what to do...


~Crying~Crimson~Blood~


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Re: Fallen - July 22nd 2009, 11:45 PM

Hey Sasha,

I know you're not particularly happy with surviving your attempt, but I am. And I think it's another chance for you to keep going. Whether we like the life we're given or not - it's our job to cope and make the best we can out of it. Life isn't pretty and it can easily get messy - but it's worth it when we take all we can out of it. If you're so afraid to try again, then don't. Because there is no certainty that trying again will work. You might just dig yourself into a deeper hole. The only thing that is certain is that if you try - things will get better. If you keep trying, things are certain to get better. You can't give up though. For things to get better, you need to let go of suicide and fully put yourself into getting better. It is possible and you are worth it. Dying is not the answer to anything.

Try talking to a professional. Vent your feelings and don't let suicide win this. You can do this, and its when we begin to fall towards suicide that we need to try the hardest because suicide will suck you down a worse path than before. Things are better without it. So, that's what you do - keep going. You tell someone, you vent, you call hot lines when you're suicidal. Try Live Help, HelpLINK, our hope threads - anything to pull yourself through. It takes time and it's not over night - but things will get better the longer you try. I believe in you, and I don't know you very well. You know yourself so much better, believe in yourself too. You're not alone in this and let me know if you need some support - we're all here for you.

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Re: Fallen - July 23rd 2009, 12:01 AM

Hey Sasha im really sorry that your going through such a tough time right now but I know that you can get through it and make it. I know you didnt ask for your life nobody did. But think of your life as a gift you get to be alive. You just have to work at living life to the fullest and being happy enjoying life. Because it is very possible to turn things around and I know that you can do it.

You said you've hit rock bottom well that means things can only look up from there. While your in the hostpital please talk to somebody if they dont understand make them understand. Sit them down and talk with them. Tell them that your still having suicidal feelings let somebody help you. You deserve so much more then to feel the way that your feeling.

If you ever want to talk about anything at all feel free to pm my inbox is always open.


   
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Re: Fallen - July 23rd 2009, 08:28 PM

hey sasha.

i agree with everyone else is saying. and there's also one quote :

when it seems like you've hit rock bottom, fear not for the only way left is up

i understand that you've went through a lot. but this only means that the joy and happiness which TRULY lies behind everything you're going through is going to be that much sweeter when you experience it. and you can count on us to be there with you, every step of the way

take care you!


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Re: Fallen - July 23rd 2009, 10:30 PM

Sasha,

I am sorry you are struggling but please know that this feeling will get better with time. I know that it may be hard to believe right now but it really is true.

I am so sorry that you attempted but I am grateful that you are alive. You may not be too thrilled that you survived but I am sure there are quite a few people in your life that are and one day you will look back and think 'I am glad that I survived'. It might take a while for that feeling to kick in but it will happen.

Sasha, the thing you have to do is let people in; let the doctors and the nurses and everyone else that can help you in. Allow them to understand why you are feeling this way. Don't pretend to be okay because that won't accomplish anything. It is okay to be sad and its okay to let people see you that way.

Also, talk to people and let them know how you are feeling so that you can get the help that you deserve. I know it will be tough but you can make it through this. I know there is a small part of you that might not want to make it through this but try and push that away because you really deserve a chance at life and a chance to be happy.

Don't quit fighting, don't quit believing and don't loose hope. You can make it through this.

Hang in there and if you need anything don't hesitate to pm me.

~Jenna~


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