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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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mr_null Offline
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Depressed, need a change. - July 24th 2009, 07:35 PM

I just need to let some steam off, life has been getting to me recently.

Lately I've been feeling so awkward around other people for some reason. I feel like I should be doing more to converse, doing more to get to know people, I feel like I should be closer to the people in my life. But I'm not and I find it hard to do so without feeling like I'm trying too hard.

I only work 3 hours a day right now, and the rest of the day I'm stuck at home because I live in the suburbs and my parents are out with both cars unitl I have to go to work. I should get out more, I should ride my bike around, but there's nowhere nearby to go and nobody nearby I know. There is never anything to eat at home, I've made grilled cheese sandwiches and bagels my staple foods for breakfast lunch and midnight snack.

I feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile, I need to move out and get away from my parents, but that would most likely mean giving up drums and percussion for a time. Music is extremely important to me right now, but I don't feel like I'm making any real progress lately.

I'm just fucking depressed and I feel stuck in a rut with no way out.

Thanks for reading.
   
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Re: Depressed, need a change. - July 24th 2009, 10:35 PM

Hey,

I just wanted you to know, that even though you're not asking for advice and such, I can understand where you're coming from. I guess I wanted you to know that people are here and we are reading what you have to say and there are people who've been where you are now - feeling the same things.

Sometimes, we get stuck. It's better than moving backwards, but moving forward is always something we desire. At this point, I think keeping things that make you feel good inside is important. Life can't be exciting if we don't do anything we enjoy. So, I don't think you should give up your drums right now - not until you're feeling better about life in general. I think you should concentrate on getting out and having some fun. Because you are only 19 once and it might be a good experience for you to do something on your own? Even if you're not beside friends. It's okay to do things on your own sometimes. Maybe you can join a club you're interested in? And I know it isn't the ideal form of transportation - but try walking around or biking. You don't always need a destination - but it might be good for you to clear your mind sometimes? I know a lot of people who felt stuck and couldn't move forward right away, so they became more physically involved. You don't need a gym to do that. Plus, it might help you meet new people.

As for the social thing, I find after so long of either pulling away from people or simply being extremely busy - it does it more difficult to be as social. Though, it can depend heavily on your mindset and mood too. Try to be positive and think good thoughts about your day. Things can get better and nothing is permanent. You can always work around this rough patch. It's okay to put yourself out there and try to be social. Sometimes, when you try to reach out to someone, that's exactly what their too shy to do back. You just have to go for it and hope for the best. You can only live life once. :]

Either way, I really hope you get through this and I want you to know we're all rooting for you. I know you can do this, you need to believe that too. Keep your chin up. If you need anyone to talk to, PM me.

Have hope,
-Melissa


01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
   
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Re: Depressed, need a change. - July 25th 2009, 01:44 AM

it's hard when you feel stuck like that. you shouldn't feel like you're trying too hard, you should just go out there and become closer to the people in your life. your relationships with people is really important.
also, if drums is important to you, take out your anger on them. go and play them until your anger is out and you feel calm. that's a good way without hurting yourself.

i hope you start to feel better.
(=
good luck.
if you need to talk, PM me.
I would love to help you! (=


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
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Re: Depressed, need a change. - July 25th 2009, 03:26 AM

Hey first off you can let off steam here whenever you want it really helps to get things off your chest instead of holding it in.

I can be really awkard around people as well always feel like theres something I should be doing talking more talking less being more friendly feeling like im in the way. But really all you can do is be yourself and things will work out in the end.

I hate being stuck inside all the time which I am actually as well. Its sooo boring and theres nobody around me either. Maybe you could try just going on a bike ride by yourself thats a great time to think about everything or to just clear your mind and relax a bit. Theres nothing at all to eat at my house either Ive had ramen noodles for the past billion years it seems like. But maybe you could try mixing things up. Like finding random little foods and making some type of food that you could try out of it. Hey itd be something to do :P.

Do you think maybe you could talk to your boss about getting some more hours so you'd be out of the house more and get a little more cash thats always nice. And if you save up enough maybe you could get a place and keep the drums? Music is a great release so stick to that. I wish I could play the drums. You dont have to be always making progress with the drums. Why not just having some fun and just beating on them that might be enjoyable.

We all go through our times where we feel stuck in a rut but I know you can get through it, it just takes some work


   
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Re: Depressed, need a change. - July 25th 2009, 03:37 AM

Hey there

Its okay if you've been feeling a bit at odds around other people lately. There have been times when I didnt want to be around people at all and would sometimes go out and sit on the bleachers at lunch to get away from everyone. Sometimes you just need time to yourself and thats alright. Once you're out of this rut, you'll feel much better and interact more.

As for said rut, just give it time. Eventually you'll find something or make a breakthrough in your music that will get you back on track. It feels shitty right now but theres always a way out of a rut.


Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.


Music is life. Start living.
   
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