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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Don'tknow - July 26th 2009, 07:17 AM

I'm too far gone.

I think this is the worst I've ever been.

I've forced myself into isolation, which has not helped. But I'm sure that is what's best. It makes me sick seeing what I've done to my friends. I'm sorry I haven't given you the respect and love you deserve.

I've been paranoid, more than normal. With rare, but increasing, hallucinations. Maybe I'm just imagining them to be hallucinations, to try and calm myself. Anyway, not really important.

Not sure I'll be around for much longer.
can't control myself much anymore. could happen tonight.


Oh, and, if you read this... I tried, prayed and read endlessly. I guess I'm not strong enough.


x
   
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Re: Don'tknow - July 26th 2009, 07:27 AM

Of course you're strong enough, you just need the right support. You say you regret having treated your friends badly? Message/call/talk to them and tell them what you've told us. If these friends are worth having then they'll accept it and move on.

Also try finding something social to do that will break you out of your isolation. It doesn't necessarily have to be a party, try a gym or arcade or something where you can enjoy yourself while befriending others in the process.

You are strong enough to get through this. Don't doubt that. Know it.


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: Don'tknow - July 26th 2009, 07:39 AM

I've done all that before, I mean.. reconnected with friends, came out of isolation. But it always gets worse.

I don't know if there is a "rock bottom", I doubt it. But I've come down far enough.


x

Last edited by FrozenUnicorn; July 26th 2009 at 11:49 PM.
   
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Re: Don'tknow - July 26th 2009, 07:43 AM

There's always another option from suicide. How is it that you seem to worsen your relationship with your friends?

As for hitting rock bottom, change your outlook on life (even the smallest things help). Make yourself start looking at things as the 'glass half full'. Start with something small (even just looking forward to the next meal or set a day aside to do whatever it is that you want to do), and eventually the rest will follow.


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: Don'tknow - July 26th 2009, 08:26 AM

Hey,

I am sorry that you are feeling so low but please don't give up; I know its hard but things will get better.

I think that you should try to find someone to talk to? Maybe a counselor? I know it can be hard to talk to people but in the end it can be worth it; talking is a great way to start feeling better. Counselors give people tools so that they can better handle lives situations and in the end it helps to have someone to talk to on a regular basis; what do you think?

Please hang in there and if you ever want to talk please feel free to pm me.

~Jenna~


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Re: Don'tknow - July 26th 2009, 08:42 AM

I don't think there's any hope. I've had numerous counsellors. Some good, some bad.
Talking has helped, temporarily it seems. But now.. as it goes.. I'm left with nothing. No one.


x

Last edited by FrozenUnicorn; July 26th 2009 at 11:49 PM.
   
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Re: Don'tknow - July 26th 2009, 11:02 PM

The only thing about this situation that's childish is the option to give up. I know not all counselors and friends help (hell, some even make things worse), but keep trying. I'm sure if you found the right person who tells you what you've been needing to hear then you'll feel much, much better.


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: Don'tknow - July 27th 2009, 02:18 AM

i can't keep trying
i am so exhausted


x

Last edited by FrozenUnicorn; July 28th 2009 at 06:23 AM.
   
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