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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Name: Alexis.
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Im on the verge of breaking Please, please help me anybody!!!! - July 28th 2009, 02:55 PM

I dont know were to post this cuz i have so many things wrong with me and i need help. I know i havent been on here in awhile and im sorry for that but i need anyone who is willing to help me to help.

okay its such a long story and i know many of you have no idea who i am and what ive been through. but ive certainly been through hell my whole entire life and i cant take it anymore.

i have suffered from an eating disorder for years and now im starving myself again. i want to die more than anything and ive tried to kill myself many times. ive also been cutting myself for five to six years and i quit for awhile but now im cutting again.

i cut myself the other night about 36 times and ive cried every nite for the past few days. im in so much pain and i dont think i can get through this anymore.

my boyfriend, who is absolutley everything to me and i mean that sooooo much and i love him more than anything is moving back to florida wedseday and i wont be able to make it through with him gone and i dunno wat to do and i want to go to meadows hospital and get help but i know even with help it wont take my pain away and i cant pay for it so im basically screwed. help me anyone. please im begging.


Yeah, she still smiles,
but you can look in her eyes
and tell she doesn’t mean it.
How could she?
She doesn’t have a reason to smile anymore.
   
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Re: Im on the verge of breaking Please, please help me anybody!!!! - July 28th 2009, 05:25 PM

Hey Alexis, I'm sorry to hear you are having such a terrible time. First of all great job getting over your ED for a while. If you can do it once then you can do it again! Do you know what is making yourself so upset? Is it just your boyfriend or something else? I'm sure he can still talk to you on the phone when you need him to be there. Also, cutting isn't the answer to your problems. I know how it may feel like it but it really isn't. I've been through that too and it is just digging a deeper hole for yourself. Try some alternatives on the alternative sticky under the Self Harm thread. I think you should go get some professional help even if it won't take the pain away. It's great that you know you need to get help so the next step is to get it. About the money I'm not really sure how much you need. I'm sure that there are people around you that can help you out. Also try having a garage sale maybe to earn some money to get help. Don't give up though we are here for you and you can make it through this time! PM me if you need anything else! Good luck!


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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Re: Im on the verge of breaking Please, please help me anybody!!!! - July 29th 2009, 02:29 AM

Alexis, you can tell yourself that you have been through 'hell' your entire life but who really knows, I mean does your boyfriend make you a lil bit brighter? A lot of the time when we're going through hard times we just convince ourselves that we will 'never' get better. Well I believed that I would 'always' be suicidal and depressed' untill I made the effort to change for myself and those who cared about me...and it did take some time and hard work, but now that I'm feeling great and energized, I don't regret going to outpatients and different programs throughout the year.

If you set your mind to change for the better, and tell yourself everyday " I know I will get better in time, this shall soon pass " because you can't be depressed forever. It's only temporary and sooner or later we get back on our feet and enjoy life more than ever. =] Don't think that you can't do this alone without your boyfriend because you can....it's up to you to decide what you want outta life.

You are a wonderful person for opening up =]
You can make it !! =D woot!


"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up"

Mark Twain
   
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Re: Im on the verge of breaking Please, please help me anybody!!!! - July 29th 2009, 01:14 PM

i cant take it though. i hate life and i just wish it would all end. my boyfriend is not the only thing im struggling with but today my friend jessica is taking me to get help cuz she knows ill kill myself if i dont get help and she knows its the only thing that could possibly save me. i dont want to see anyone or talk to anyone, i just want to be left alone and die. i hate this.


Yeah, she still smiles,
but you can look in her eyes
and tell she doesn’t mean it.
How could she?
She doesn’t have a reason to smile anymore.
   
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Re: Im on the verge of breaking Please, please help me anybody!!!! - July 29th 2009, 11:04 PM

Alexis that's great that your friend is taking you to get help! That shows that there are many people in your life that care about you enough to help when you need it. I know it must be extremely hard but you can pull through just have some faith.


Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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Re: Im on the verge of breaking Please, please help me anybody!!!! - July 29th 2009, 11:31 PM

Hey. I know it's hard, but guess what. I KNOW you can make it through this, you want to know how.
Because you just proved it. You're asking for help, even though part of you just wants to be left alone to die, another part of you is crying out to be saved. And that means that you're STRONG. So I know you can get through this, and get out of the depression alive.
You just can't give up hope, and hold onto that part of you that wants to be happy even if you don't believe it's in there, because it IS. I'm talking to it right now.
You have to let people help you though. You have to let people from here, or your friend, or whoever you're going to get help from in. You have to let them, help you.

*hug* we're always here for you and we just want you to be happy.



Take me seriously.
I dare you.



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