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This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
omg....idunno why ..but lately im just in sucha bad moood-.-
and atm...i just wanna like....cut untill i bleed out...like rly bad...im already bleeding pretty bad but i know its not even close to bleeding out but anywayz....like....lately all thats been happening to me...is ive been getting
fucked over.treated like im shit.and heartbroken...like wtf....i dont do anything to anyone to deserve that...i mean im no princess but im no dick either. and i HATEEE when ppl acuse me of doing shit...it just pisses me the eff off....UGH i just....rly dnt wanna be alive right now i rly dnt!!...i try and try and ALWAYZ somehow get fucked over....
.......this was pretty much juz a rant i suppose....ugh idunno sorry for mah swearing also....-.--
i just cnt take this pain anymore....its not fair.....ive been SOOOOOOO good lately...and then BAM realaspes times like seven....i just dnt wanna go threw with it anymore...i rly dont-.-
how stubborn are the scars when they wont fade away..or just a gentle reminder that now are better days
<3
Hey Cassie. I'm worried that you're bleeding and I really hope its not too bad and that it doesn't go any farther than it already has. I'm sorry to hear you've been having a really shitty time lately--it happens to us all. I know you just want it to end now but cutting isn't the way. It WILL end soon because life goes on and eventually this will just be a bad dream. Hang in there, honey.
Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.
Take some deep breaths. Everything really will be okay.
I too am worried that you are bleeding. Do you have supplies to take care of yourself? I think that you should keep something on hand, for situations like this.
I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. I'm sorry that you feel as though you are left with the option of suicide. It's not a great feeling, we both know that. Life is hard, but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and I don't think you should go through with it. There are hotlines that you should take advantage of! There is a sticky of them in the general forum, you should take a look at it.
As for the cutting, it's not really going to help you to keep cutting. You should definitely take a look at the alternatives sticky in the self harm forum. There are plenty of different thing you can do instead of cutting. You should definitely check them out.
Do you have a friend or a trust adult that you can talk to about this? If you can talk about your feelings rather than act them out by cutting, then I think you'll find yourself to feel much better. Talking is always good to do when we feel bad.
Have you ever thought about therapy or counselling? I think something like that would help you as well. This way you will ALWAYS have someone to talk to! I think you may find this resource to be very beneficial to you.
Cassie, you are not alone. Thinking about suicide or cutting doesn't make you a bad person. I think though that you should definitely check into getting some help. You definitely deserve it. Again, I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I hope this message finds you well. Please take care of yourself.
Also feel free to PM my any time, my inbox is always open.