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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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I Need To Speak To Someone... - July 31st 2009, 09:45 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

This is my final thread, I promise.
I just...I just...I really need to speak to someone...anyone...
Just someone who'll listen...please...?
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - July 31st 2009, 09:55 PM

Hey LJ,

I will listen to you, whats going on?


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July 31st 2009, 10:04 PM

I don't know, I just can't fight this anymore. Its getting too much. Todays the anniversary since my friend killed himself. I always promised him I'd join him soon, but I fail. I always fail. My mum has put me on 'suicide watch' because the other night I got drunk, took some drugs and wandered onto a motorway bridge in the early hours of the morning. Then, I slashed my wrist. I'm a wreck, I'm a joke. I can't cope, I'm sick and tired of trying to be normal. I try to 'recover' from this 'illness' i 'have' but I can't, it's too hard. My doctor tries but he can't help me either. I want to die...I just really want to die. I put the rope around my neck to see how it felt. I already know how it feels, I've done it before but tonight it felt 'right'...you know...? I'll shut up...

I can't cope...please
I feel like just slashing my wrists and my throat...
I can't stop the thoughts!

Last edited by Lizzie; August 3rd 2009 at 09:26 PM. Reason: Merge double post
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 1st 2009, 05:28 AM

Please talk to me, i dont want to see you go.
pm me or IM me at destinallifanda@aim.com
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August 1st 2009, 06:36 AM

I will listen to u. I care I really don't want to see you go please talk to me and tell me whats goin on I would love to talk to you

Just remember God will always be there for u too he will love you no matter what

Last edited by SimplyComplex; August 1st 2009 at 01:39 PM. Reason: Merged posts.
   
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August 1st 2009, 02:28 PM

Thanks...sorry, I don't even know whats happening to me anymore. I'm not the person I even used to be two weeks ago. I've gone so weird...

I can't cope.
I can't hack this.
I can't.
Sorry, bye.

Last edited by Lizzie; August 3rd 2009 at 09:27 PM. Reason: Merge double post
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 12:12 AM

how do you know ur friend wants you to follow them? your friend is gone and that cant be changed, but are you willing to put someone else in the position that ur in by ur death?
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 04:06 PM

I'll always listen to you. You can pm me any time.
I'm sure your friend doesn't want you to follow him I think he wants you to stay alive. I bet if he looked back on what he did he would have regreted it because he left so many people behind.
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 04:59 PM

Hey LJ,

Sorry that you're feeling so bad; it must be really horrible for you. You know what though? You can cope with it and you can get through this. You have felt this way before and managed it so I believe that you can do it again. I believe that you want to live and that you will try your best. What have you done in the past that has made you feel better? Maybe you could try and do it again now to help with the difficult feelings. Things that I find help are watching funny films, playing a game on the computer and concentrating really hard on something else like some school work.

I don't believe for one minute that your friend would want you to "join him". I think he would want you to enjoy your life and make the most of it. You know, he probably cared for you a lot and wouldnt want you to be feeling this way. People do care about you; I care about you and your mum and doctor clearly care if they are trying to help. Can you not talk to one of them about it? It sounds as if they want to keep you here if you are under a suicide watch..

Take care of yourself,
Jen


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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 05:01 PM

Its okay, you don't have to reply anymore. I've made up my mind.
Thank you though, x
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 05:25 PM

LJ, you really don't have to do this; there are other ways...


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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 05:44 PM

There are? I've tried almost everything but nothing is helping, it just gets worse |:
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 05:50 PM

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There are? I've tried almost everything but nothing is helping, it just gets worse |:
Well, you're still here and thats something What kind of things have you tried? I dont want to waffle on about stuff that you have already done! I just want to say though that it is worth keeping on trying things even if you have done them before because sometimes it takes a while to replace negative thoughts and behaviours with more positive ones..


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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 06:01 PM

EVERYTHING and I mean everything. |:
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 06:03 PM

Who can help when you feel suicidal ...


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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 06:23 PM

I've tried.
My head of year found out, but its a Sunday (and the holidays) so I can't speak to her. The police have dealt with me too, it terrifies me the thought of calling them. I've spoken to helplines, only to get cut off or whatever |: I don't have family, or family friends, or friends haha. I've told my doctor, but like I said before, its Sunday so nothing can be done.
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 06:28 PM

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I've tried.
My head of year found out, but its a Sunday (and the holidays) so I can't speak to her. The police have dealt with me too, it terrifies me the thought of calling them. I've spoken to helplines, only to get cut off or whatever |: I don't have family, or family friends, or friends haha. I've told my doctor, but like I said before, its Sunday so nothing can be done.
Could you not email your head of year? I dont know about your school but mine has a website and you can email teachers through it...

Which helplines have you tried? Some are definitely better than others and it can help to try quite a few of them to see what helps you. Im sure though that they wouldnt have cut you off on purpose!

I think you can hold on until tomorrow so you can get the help you deserve, it is only a few hours now! You could even go to sleep to pass the time or watch a film etc etc What about your mum? She seems to care and want to help, you mentioned before she was putting you under suicide watch so she knows you feel that way and would probably want to support you right now.

If you feel really desperate though you can always get yourself to the hospital and tell them how bad you feel. They can help and will be open now even though its a sunday and holidays...


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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 06:34 PM

I've made my mind up, I'm 'fraid. I'm not cut out for this life. Maybe a different one, but not this one.
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 06:39 PM

You are cut out for life. You've been so strong and have made it this far. What you need to try is looking at all of the positive things that go on in your life. At first it's really hard to think that way, but it gets easier. Try to twist everything so it is positive.
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 06:43 PM

It doesn't work like that...m'fraid...I'm not 'strong', just a failure. I keep attempting but I keep failing, so that isnt being strong...it's being an idiot. There isn't anything positive. You don't have to reply anymore, I'm sorry for wasting multiple lame threads, if I knew how to delete them then I would...
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 06:47 PM

You are strong! I've read your threads I couldn't have dealt with half the stuff you have. You're not a failure for not succeding. You're just really good at living. Thats positive. What are some of your hobbies? Those will be a good distraction.
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 06:49 PM

I'm not strong, I never will be. And as for the being 'really good at living' thing, well, I wish I wasn't ): wow, what's a fatal dosage of pills to take? I took some earlier...not many, but my chest really hurts |:
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 06:53 PM

You are strong. It doesn't matter how many times you've attempted. You've made it this far. Try taking things a day at a time. Adding up the days until you haven't attempted for a while. Then you will definitely feel strong. You've conquored this for so long don't give in yet.

I don't know much about pill overdosage, but I think you should go to the hospital. I know you don't like talking to the police, but sometimes we have to go out of our comfort zones to do what is right for ourselves.
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 06:58 PM

I'm not strong...I'm not...*sigh* I'll shhhh now.
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 07:08 PM

yes you are! I know you are!

please go to the hospital. I can tell you have so much potential. Why give it all up now?
you can make it through this time, and next time and the next. It may not be easy, but you can do it.
You can do anything if you set your mind to it. If you set your mind to I will live than you will.
Maybe the reason you haven't suceaded is because you're supposed to do something great. You could change peopl's views with writing or help tons of other people. You could make a major discovery in science, but it won't happen if you give up now.
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 07:25 PM

I don't need to go to hospital.
But seriously, me do something great? You've more chance of seeing a pig fly...haha
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 07:42 PM

There must be something that you like to do. A hobbie you want to carry into a carreer. Everyone does something great for someone. Is there anything you want to accomplish? Strive for that. That can be one of your reasons to live.

I guess I'll trust you with the hospital bit.
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 07:48 PM

There isnt :\
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 08:44 PM

go to the hospital please,suicde isnt the answer


Love you Naomi R.I.P i miss you loads but i will never forget you
08/11/92 - 10/11/92

R.I.P Gill - I love you as a second mum,will never forget you and all your advice,oh and i will keep smiling like you wanted see
Going to try continue helping people like you wanted and you did,hope i'm making you proud
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 08:47 PM

I really don't need to, I'm fine...
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 09:05 PM

your not fine and suicide is not the only way out. we're niot going to give up on you so dont give up on yourself
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 09:10 PM

I am, I'm fine...just...having a bit of breakdown? haha...sorry...
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 09:47 PM

Just dont do anything that is irreparable ok?


"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 09:54 PM

Like what..? Like...kill myself? haha...
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 10:58 PM

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Like what..? Like...kill myself? haha...
Yes, exactly. Don't kill yourself. You know what LJ, even if you dont think you are strong you have got this far and that is great because you didn't think you could earlier. Why don't you go to bed now and then in the morning try and get some help of somebody.

What have you got to lose from trying....


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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 2nd 2009, 11:11 PM

I'm not strong. There's this buzzing in my head and it won't stop. The voices keep telling me to lock myself in the bathroom. There is so much I could use to end it in there. I can't stop anymore.
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 3rd 2009, 12:55 AM

stay away from anything that can harm you. Like jen said, maybe you should go to sleep and rethink this. You dont have to do this on a whim. things could change in ur head, but that cant happen if u end it now.


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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 3rd 2009, 12:56 AM

Quote:
There isnt :\
I really think there has to be something you like to do. Have you picked up a book lately? you could sing, draw, write, research things you're interested in, if you're into anime onemanga.com has a lot of free manga you can read, you can post any arwork on a site called deviantart.com, you could exercise. There must be something in this list you even vaguely are interested in.

The voices may tell you to do things, but you have ignored them which means you are strong. You can get through this. If you are still around tomarro you are strong. You are also extremely brave to be able to face this.
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 3rd 2009, 01:36 AM

I cant. cant cant do this...
   
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Re: I Need To Speak To Someone... - August 3rd 2009, 01:51 AM

LJ, there are so many people who care on this site... don't give up.... not yet


Someone save me from myself...
   
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