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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
live.laugh.love
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sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 01:37 AM

and i do believe i'm unloved at the moment.
so i'm stuck at home by myself been that way for about two weeks because my parents are out of town. but i ran out of food and haven't eaten since wensday soooo by now i'm getting pretty sick and i don't feel good.

now honestly, if your were somebodys friend or cared about somebody and you had a car and some money WOULD YOU NOT GO AND BRING THEM SOME FOOD?!

i would.
but obv. my friends don't care.
fine, i figured this person who is like my father figure to care.
so i texted him explaining what was going on.
and he was like "well, i'm not your food service,"
nice.
so i was like "i know but it's just for today, please i don't feel good"
and he was all like "night, love you"
like seriously?! so i just replied with a "yeah," because honestly IM NOT ASKING FOR A LOT, you supposed to be like a father to me and you won't even go out of your way a little bit to get me food...?!
sooo he got mad and said "well im not here to serve you im at the movies with the kids..."
so i was like "i understand that and i get your busy but cant you even after the movies or tomorrow?!"
and he was like "no, done im blocking you because you make me feel like crap because i can't do nothing."

im thinking, hold on who feels like crap?!
a person i consider a second father and who calls me daughter won't rbing me something...?! and secondly im thinking can't or won't... i'm leaning more toward the wont.

glad to know if i ever need attention all i need to do is die.
fml/


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 01:45 AM

aw sweetie im sorry.
isnt thier and close family members that you can talk to or
a friends house you can stay for a bit?

have you told any of your other friend your situation?


what he did to you is pretty messed up, and if he is like a father to you i think he
would have brought you something. he has no right to feel like crap.

hang in there.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 02:30 AM

Hey Cassie

Sometimes we all feel unloved, but that doesn't make it true. You have to try to think of things from other peoples views. While friends can just be plain unreliable, you said that this guy loves you like a daughter. Perhaps he wants you to take care of yourself?

Maybe you could look around the house for different kinds of food that you normally wouldn't make, or perhaps try cooking something. I know even when I have "no food" in the house, the reality is there's plenty, just not the kind I generally eat. Even if a mouse couldn't survive in your house, what can you find outside your house? Maybe you could go grocery shopping, or somewhere to eat. Legs and bikes are old fashioned but they do get you from place to place = ]

You're going to be okay, sometimes you really have to take care of yourself though.
Take care,
~Matt



   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 02:51 AM

it's not that though.
i have no money and i don't feel good and now he blocked me and idc about life and i already took three pills of idk what and im looking for more. screw it


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 03:12 AM

please dont do that.
im sorry he blocked you, maybe he will unblock you
and you can talk about it. it isnt your fault.
dont take anymore pills, try and calm down and focus
on something, anything positive.
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 03:21 AM

no he wont.
im done i cant i needed him and he didn't care and i quit.
i want to kill myself.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 03:27 AM

maybe you will find another way to reach him and talk it out.
there is so much to live for cassie dont kill yourself
that wont help anyone or anything
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 03:27 AM

No Cassie. You can't. I know it feels like your alone right now but you aren't. People care about you, myself included. I'm worried..just please keep talking to us. Please.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 03:49 AM

this feeling, though it may feel so heavy right now, will pass. as much as u feel unloved right now, there are people who care. I care. dont throw ur life away, its one of the most precious things u have.
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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 04:32 PM

i just don't understand why everybody is soo mean anymore.
i can't take it.
i really can't.
i cried myself to sleep.
and i had to take pills just to sleep.
i'm sick, i'm hungry and i really don't want to be alive.
but i can't tell nobody ori just get yelled at ]=


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 04:36 PM

I understand how you feel, some people can be there for one you minute and then drop you the next but not everyone is like that. Just because one person let you down, doesn't mean everyone is going to do the same. Do you have any neighbours who you can pop round and explain your situation to? I'm sure you'll find someone who can lend you something even if it's just enough to make a sandwich or something small. You've got to eat something because if you aren't eating and you've taken some pills, I don't think the combination is going to make you feel any better. Just keep trying to ask people and I'm sure someone will be able to give you something. Just keep your chin up and remember that someone out there does care and won't let you down.

I'm here if you need someone to talk to x
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 04:55 PM

no, i don't really know my neighbors they're all new.
it's just stupid, like three of my friends drive and they act like it's such an inconvience same with the other dad and like honestly, why? because it's not their job to provide for me, well no duh. but that's what people do for each other when they 'love' each other. i would do it for them but no ):

i just don't see the point in living anymore.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 04:59 PM

I understand that it's not their job but it's nice of them to be there for you like that but as I said, not everyone is going to be like that and I know it's hard at the moment but things will get better, they always do whether it's now or later. Just try and stay occupied to take your mind off things and hopefully they'll get better x
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 1st 2009, 05:06 PM

i can't take my mind off of it.
i mean, i'm sick and i'm hungry and i don't feel great.
and of course it's all my fault or at least that's how he made me feel.
like i don't know, it just really hurts.
it seems like everything and everybody is more important than me.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 2nd 2009, 02:51 AM

The way he treated you does not reflect on your own worth. Like you said, ur a nice person and that puts u above so many. one of the hardest things to appriciate is how many people care about u, and i promise you, people care.
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 2nd 2009, 03:07 AM

Hey,

is there anyway you can get something to eat? Seriously, you really need to eat. I'm sorry that he wouldn't help you. If you worry about things while you're hungry and sick, it makes it so much worse.



   
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 2nd 2009, 04:08 AM

it doesn't matter.
he tried to share more 'wisdom' with me today but it just made me feel more like crap, "you'll never rate over my kids or my career," well of course i understand i'll never be like his own child BUT his career? he cares more about that than me... and i just asked the stop 'what if question,'

"what if for some reason you had to choose between me and football,"

'really, i lost my wife because i spent more time w/ football and you think you'll get the nod. i could change thousands of lives and you think i'd throw that away for one person.'

and that's not even WHAT I MEANT WHEN ASKING THE QUESTION!
but hello, how does he think that made me feel.
football is more important than me.
something that's not even alive is more important than his other daughter.
i understand family but when it comes to something that in the end is going to be insignificant...? really.

and now i have to face him at 1000 in the morning and i don't want too. i don't want to see him or talk to him but i don't have a chose. that hurts. ]=

not to mention im just a letdown to my mother, how nice.
she won't even sleep in the same house and she's ranting about killing herself and my dad ignored and just drank. no wonder im soooo fucked up ]=

all this happens on the eve of one of the biggest night of my life as well.
tomorrow is supposed to be one of the best days of my life but it's already shot to fucking hell.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 2nd 2009, 08:17 AM

hey cassie.

i understand that you've been through sooo, sooo much and the thing is.. give them time. sometimes people randomly "awaken " (hmm suddenly realize that how much someone else cares and they're doing NOTHING in return to help when something happens) and yeah, it really hurts when it happens. but the thing is sometimes people say the stupidest things.

you have to talk to them nicely to it, and tell those people who make you feel unappreciated how you truly feel . that will certainly help them understand how much its been hurting you. it's going to be tough, but under every tough exterior side of a human is something much softer inside. its' a matter how how you get to it.

i understand that this ruined your day today, but i bet you, tomorrow's going to be better.. it's going to have all of us in it, and definitely a lot of other people. you remember this:

we got your back.

and even if the sky falls, thats never going to change, ever


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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Re: sometimes i think i'm the only nice person left. - August 3rd 2009, 04:54 AM

Hi Cassie,

I'm sorry that he's being... misunderstanding at the moment. Sometimes adults kind of snap in weird and kind of uncalled-for ways because of things that weren't meant the way they seem to take it. But you just asked a question. His response was his response. You can't control that. It's his fault if he got so upset about it and said things that in the defensiveness of a heated moment he probably didn't mean.

And your family... I'm so sorry that you have to put up with all of that. But you're not a let down. Not by a long shot. I'm so sorry that your parents aren't really acting like parents, because you deserve to be reminded that there are people who care about you. I'd come rescue you if I could

Hang in there, Cass. <3

And how was your baptism, hun?


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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