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SavedBythePen Offline
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Unhappy Am I just being selfish or what? - August 2nd 2009, 01:42 AM

For the past 7 months, there would just be times when I don't want to exist anymore. Mostly at night, I would feel so depressed and I'd be planning suicide. The next day, I'd just be normal again. It affected me so much. I couldn't sleep and I would continually fall asleep in school. I started to have a hard time concentrating and I started to eat way more than I should at night, because eating made me feel better. My family and friends started to notice, and they pointed it out to me.

I talked to the school counselor about some problems between my parents and I, which was a part of it, and we all tried to work it out. It went away for a little while, and now it's coming back.

I don't know if it's even depression or whatever, and I've tried to research online. Am I just being really selfish and whiny? Am I? I mean, I have a decent house, I have food, I have friends who really care, same for family. I'm going into a good school next year, I have a lot of nice things. Yet...I feel so sad and depressed at night. I just feel so selfish about it, there's kids out there who deserve to be depressed, and they're not. And here's me. I'm depressed for no reason at all.

I got a pocketful of sunshine.
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Re: Am I just being selfish or what? - August 2nd 2009, 03:04 AM

Depression doesnt just happen to people who have horrible lives. there are seperate kinds, psycological and clinical. Clinical depression is an imbalance of chemicals in ur brain. I also have depression and was struggling for a long time with this feeling like i was being ungrateful. But ur not, people tend to think its something that you can suddenly wish away and say "I am Happy!" and be done with it. But its not that simple. PM me anytime
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Re: Am I just being selfish or what? - August 2nd 2009, 05:48 PM

Hey Ellie,

Just because we can't directly say it's depression doesn't mean it's not a problem. Obviously this is affecting you and your day to day activity and it is a problem that should be dealt with. The biggest mistake people make with depression is ignoring it. Then you allow it to grow and get worse - which is something depression and things like it enjoy doing. I really advise you keep watching what happens with your eating happens and emotions. Maybe write them down and why and how they changed and if it was drastic etc. Then, I suggest you speak with a professional about this and explain to them what you have been observing. It can help then understand more if you're prepared to explain.

Try not to feed the feelings when you're wanting not to exist. When they come, try to get involved and get your mind off of it. Try to show yourself that you're worth staying for and the world needs someone unique like yourself. You're not being whiny, you're addressing something that's not balanced in your emotions and that's okay. It's better to address it than ignore the truth. Don't dismiss this. Sometimes, we can have everything we want and still feel sad inside. It might not even be something you can help. It could possibly be a chemical imbalance that only medication can fix. You never know until you speak with a professional. Don't beat yourself up about this, because it can very well be something you can't control. Talk to your doctor and get some help. If you need anyone to speak to - don't be shy to PM me.

Have hope,

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Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
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