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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Maple Leaf Offline
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Name: Brandon Field
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Join Date: May 18th 2009

Guess I shouldn't exist anymore.... - August 2nd 2009, 04:25 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've had this thing happen to me, For a random months I would get really sad and dreppressed, During this time I wouldn't go out any where. Not talk to any one. Just sit in my bed. Crying. Wishing my life wasn't sooo messed up. Saying everyone would be better off without me. Saying Doesn't matter how good life gets, Its will always get 10X worse. Well it just happend, And its the worse one soo far. Now im all alone. All my friends hate me. I screwed my life up. Screwed my best friends life up. Im such a horrible person. What have I done? They would be better off if I never existed. Its the only thing I can think. Its me. I am the problem.
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Em... Offline
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Re: Guess I shouldn't exist anymore.... - August 2nd 2009, 06:44 AM

Hey There Brandon,

You are NOT a horrible person what so ever. You did nothing wrong, so why do you feel this way about yourself? You may have made some mistakes in the past, but "to err is human" there is no questioning that.

You are also NOT the problem. You are worth living, you are not a waste of space. You were put on this planet and you are doing so well. I know it's hard to think about the good things in your life but really try hard.

Is there anyone you could talk to? A trusted adult? A religious leader? Teacher? Guidance Counsellor? Anyone, that could help you? Open up to someone about these episodes that you have. I think if you are able to talk about being depressed and how you are feeling at the moment, you may feel so much better, because then those feelings are not suppressing you, you will feel so much more relieved. Talk to your parents about these episodes.

I think you should probably look into some professional help if you haven't already. The mental pattern you have expressed in this post seems a bit questionable and if you tell the doctor about this, they could help you sort it out that way you don't get this way. I think this will be much to your benefit!

I know things seem hard at the moment. You need to stay strong and to open up to someone who can get you professional help, especially if you are thinking of suicide. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" It is not the way to go. Please don't do anything to hurt yourself. People care about you so much, we care about you here on TH, you have people at school that care about you, and wouldn't want to see your hurting.

I want you to stay strong. I'm sorry if this post seems a bit jumpy by the way, it's a bit late. Anywho, you can beat it this time. You are so worth it! I really hope you feel better soon. Please take care of yourself and please PM me if you want to talk more.

Take care,
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savealife723 Offline
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Re: Guess I shouldn't exist anymore.... - August 2nd 2009, 06:48 AM

you are not the problem. do not tell yourself that.
everyone goes through a hard time in their life,
and maybe your stage is just longer then some others.
if you believe that life will get worse, it will.
if you believe that life will get better, it probably will.
you have to have faith that things will be okay in the end.
even if you don't fully believe it.
be strong, and don't let these times get to you.
try to think of other things, and know that everyone on this website has faith in you.
your friends may have left, but that just means they aren't worth it.
real friends stick around for you, no matter what happens.
don't forget that.
good luck.
i hope i could help atleast a little bit.
PM me if you ever want to talk.
I would love to.

When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
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anymore, exist, guess

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