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michy7x August 2nd 2009 10:48 PM

Want to destroy myself with insecurity:D
I'm feeling incredibly **insane** right now :D

I've had issues with how i look in the past for a long time stemming from a range of childhood experiences and parental abuse from my mother and it's transferred and undermined all my relationships! :D I don't know what to do... i'm losing my mind! ^__^ My boyfriend loves me an incredible amount and doesn't want anyone else but i can't help but think that secretly, although i trust him and he is my true soulmate, he wants some blonde or other brunette/ravenhead or redhead!!

I need help, desperately. I compare myself so much to other girls... it's insane... it's past the normal level... i literally harm myself over it. Sometimes i'm happy with how i am but right now... right now... i cannot believe that anyone would want someone like me!

Wow :D

CherriesBlossom August 2nd 2009 10:54 PM

Re: Want to destroy myself with insecurity:D
i read this and i swear it described me.
well except the hair color thing. :p

everyone has insecurities and sometimes it really is enough to drive someone
insane, but i asure you that you boyfriend is with you because he wants to be with you, not because he want to be with a blonde, raven, ect.

he might be attracted even to others but, he is with you. sometimes
loving and trusting someone will drive your insecurties away.

have you talked to your boyfriend about this? maybe he can help you with this as well.

im sorry about your mother, but dont let her win, dont let her rule your relationships.
you need to take a breaht and realize that you boyfriend cares about you.
dont worry about anything else.

if you ever need anything feel free to pm me (:

michy7x August 2nd 2009 11:06 PM

Re: Want to destroy myself with insecurity:D
A lot of issues about my past i've dealt with, but right now i've turned into a girl running around her kitchen with a pyscho grin on her face thinking of herself with blood running down her face. It's probably because recently a lot of stress has been going on for me.... i have talked to my boyfriend about this so many times...we talk about this like every day! He is always reassuring and i believe him completely that he loves me - but i really 'KNOW' he wants someone else! I feel i'm turning into a complete psycho right now! And i was on the phone with him and it's really scaring him, i never act like this, and he's rarely intimidated by me if at all, but right now he is incredibly worried and scared! If i can get my act together i shall PM you, Katie. Thank you :D

CherriesBlossom August 2nd 2009 11:12 PM

Re: Want to destroy myself with insecurity:D
your welcome!

your not a psycho.
believe me i have a problem with believing that someone wants to be with me to.
but you really just have to risk getting hurt and trust them.
your boyfriend doesnt want anyone else, he is with you!

until i calmed down and realized that someone wanted to be with me and only me
all the relationships that i had before failed. becuase i constantly was insecure and
they just couldnt handel it anymore. dont let this happen to you!

you need to let you mind come to ease and just fully trust that he doesnt want anyone else.

michy7x August 2nd 2009 11:19 PM

Re: Want to destroy myself with insecurity:D
The issue isn't just with my boyfriend, it comes OUT in relationships, bit it's in my CORE. And i can't seem to shake that...

You've been helpful though, so i appreciate.

CherriesBlossom August 2nd 2009 11:27 PM

Re: Want to destroy myself with insecurity:D
i know it doesnt seem like it now, but trust me you can shake this.
you welcome.
good luck sweetie (:

paddingtonbear August 8th 2009 06:48 PM

Re: Want to destroy myself with insecurity:D
Try Byron katie's the work or read eckhart tolle. xxx

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