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lonely.boy Offline
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All this pressure is killing me! - August 3rd 2009, 07:07 PM

I've been getting pressure from everybody,especially family and one or two friends, about going to university. This is killing me on the inside, it's making me want to die because they are making me feel like a loser and that my life will be very bad if i don't get a degree. Although i get depressed a lot and im lonely( i don't have many friends now and i stay home sometimes more than i should), i always tried to think positive and think that my life will get better and that's what kept me going on and sending away "bad thoughts", but all this pressure is taking my positive thinking attitude and my positive perspectives for the future. I know that keep studying will help me get better job and opportunities, but i don't feel ready for it, maybe next year i feel like i will be ready, but people don't get that...
This is driving me crazy and now i can't even see a good future for myself
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Re: All this pressure is killing me! - August 3rd 2009, 08:00 PM

does the school that you want to go to offer deferred placement? then you can wait a year before going to university. This is easier but you can also apply for the class a year after and take a year off. THis helps with raising money for university and also lets you prepare yourself more. my dad did this and still ended up very successful, dont worry, everything will work out

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Re: All this pressure is killing me! - August 3rd 2009, 08:21 PM


Do whats right for you don't let your folks make you do something you dont want to they will come around when they see you are happy as for your friends they'll get over it if they don' they aren't good friends
As for getting out more don't wait for an invite invite yourself say can i hang out with you. Get to know new people.

Hope it all works out ok

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Re: All this pressure is killing me! - August 7th 2009, 01:21 AM

Thank you for the support.
For me it's hard not letting pressure affect me, because i hate it and sometimes i end up giving up, i guess im weak...
I do go outside sometimes by myself and take a walk or something, but sometimes i just want to go out with friends, like a lot people do, but i don't have much. But i won't let that get me down, this will probably change someday...
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Re: All this pressure is killing me! - August 7th 2009, 03:36 AM

Hey there,

I understand the stress involved in trying to get into a university - I just graduated from high school in the U.S. and so had all the pressure and bearing in from family and school and whatnot about applying to college. But take a deep breath - university is no where near a measure of you yourself. You're definitely not a loser, and going to university, while it's definitely significant, doesn't affect the "goodness" or "badness" or your life forever. University, and life, is what you make it. There are a lot of different ways to work towards the same goals. Even if you don't get into university, that just means that you get the chance to sit down and be creative and figure out how you can re-try through a different approach or just start getting some "life experience" while you work with your possibilities. But you'll be okay. Don't worry

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Re: All this pressure is killing me! - August 7th 2009, 03:58 AM

Hey there,

I am sorry you are feeling so low but it will be okay. You are not weak either. Pretty much every person struggles with what to do with their life at some point and you are no different. I think it is great that you try and stay positive but I know how hard it can be when other people are pressuring you but don't give up on those positive thoughts/feelings because they are all that matter and they will come back to you if you let them.

As for going to University don't put to much pressure on yourself because if you are not ready for it you probably won't enjoy or do very good. If talking to your friends and family doesn't work what about writing them a letter or email and explaining it all there? I know that face to face conversations can be better but sometimes letters or emails get through to a person better; what do you think?

In the end, though, you have to be happy with the decision you make so please try not to worry to much and try not to let your parents and friends get to you too much.

Hope this helped and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.


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Re: All this pressure is killing me! - August 8th 2009, 05:58 PM

You poor thing! My friend has a degree and now she can't get a job because she's overqualified! University is not the be all and end all, if it's for you, that's great and if it's not, then that's great too.

Eckhart tolle is one of my favourite spiritual writers, he suffered from a deep depression, he was one of the most intelligent men out there, doing his phd, working in the same place as stephen hawking, then he realised that academia was not the meaning of life, and now he is completely peaceful, travelling the world talking about the meaning of life is nothing to do with what you know, but just being and loving and peace and going beyond our overthinking! So you can look at life this way - it's all about peace, love and joy - anyone can learn facts! I'm not saying university isn't a great idea, I'm just saying there are many many options and it's about what YOU want, not what anyone single other person wants.

Or you can do the work of byron katie on it - go to her website and answer some questions and realise what YOU want and what's right for YOU!

Whatever you decide to do, as all the options are great ones, do it because you want to and are happy about it. It's your life!
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