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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
live.laugh.love
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and if one more thing goes wrong. - August 6th 2009, 03:47 AM

i think i might just scream and never ever stop.
seriously, i try so hard to focus on the positives in my life and it was working, i'm doing great BUT of course family problems are ruining this.

so today i came home from tennis and i told my mom i needed my physical and she got all nasty and was like "by when," and i was like "next week," and then i tried to nicely tell her i needed to sign up for my ACT by the end of the week and she went off "EVERYBODY WANTS, WANTS, WANTS, WHAT ABOUT ME?!" and i tried to apologize and i just "well, i need this...it's my senior year, i can't mess it up" and she was like "ITS ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!" and went up and slammed her door and started crying...now i wish i could say this is uncommon but it's not i think i've been yelled at for over a week straight about everything.... and it's finally getting to me.

and they act soooo happy around other people soooo everybody im the crazy one when in reality i'm just having a hard time living in this insane house i do believe. i can't keep focusing on the positives, i've tried to talk to her, tell her how it makes me feel, tell her i'd listen to what's bothering her but she just gets mad at me and yells and it's not fair. everything is somehow my fault and they blame me and it's not fair.

i don't know what to do ] =
i try to get out of the house as much as i can.
but it's never enough.
i talk to people.
i do everything that i could possibly do but now i feel like going to bed and never waking up. i hate this everyday routine of getting up, surviving and going back to bed.. it's only when i'm here too. i love my parents but i can;t stand it. i want to die. i want to cut. i want to do everything to just get away.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: and if one more thing goes wrong. - August 6th 2009, 03:57 AM

I'm so sorry that you feel this way.
At least it's your mother that's crazy; the problem is somewhat separate from you, and her problems won't affect your daily life forever.
You're about to start your senior year. That's one more year of this and then freedom. You can do it :-)
Sometimes there's no solution except to wait it out...

EDIT: About the cutting: it's just not worth it. Again, you only have a year left of this insanity, and then you'll be glad not to have cut. It's no use cutting and then living with the scars forever. Just wait it out, until the urge passes. You can do this, you sound like someone who's quite good at self-control.


"He not busy being born is busy dying."
   
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Re: and if one more thing goes wrong. - August 6th 2009, 04:03 AM

Hey Cass,

I'm so sorry that things are feeling so rough right now. But Cassie, you definitely don't make things all about you. You do the right thing and ask for help when you need it. And your mom is supposed to help you with things like scheduling physicals and making sure ACT sign up gets done. My mother jumps with happiness if I so much as start out with "hey mom, can you..." Moms are supposed to do that. Your mom is just being supremely weird. Like normal. Please don't listen to her drama queen-ness. You're an amazing person, and you deserve to keep waking up in the morning. There'd be a big bleak spot in the world where you used to be if you weren't here anymore. Cassie, so many people care about you soooo much (like me!!!!). Please don't hurt yourself. I completely understand what it's like to want to just do something, anything to get out, to not have to deal with whatever anymore. But there are other ways out besides hurting yourself. Is there anyway you could stay at someone else's house for a while? Remove yourself from your home situation? And I know that right now it might seem like eons away, but college with be an escape, too.

Hang in there, hun. You know you can PM me anytime. We'll getcha through this <3


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
live.laugh.love
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Re: and if one more thing goes wrong. - August 7th 2009, 01:08 AM

nonono.
im so tired of it.
so very tired.

and im tired of being different.
i just wanna be like everybody else.
no wonder nobody likes me. ] =
i wanna be dead.
there.
i said it.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Re: and if one more thing goes wrong. - August 7th 2009, 04:41 AM

Hi Cassie,

*hugs*

*hugs again*

Please don't hurt yourself! What's going on, hun?

Do you really want to be dead? Or do you just not want to have to deal with what's going on right now? There's a way to get out of things besides suicide - that's not even an option.

And hey, there are definitely people who like you, like Dawn and your other dad and everybody here (like me!!!). We all care about you a lot. Anyone who doesn't like you is just weird.

Everybody's different. I think that people tend to worry about being "just like everybody else," but it turns out that nobody's like everyone else. I understand what it's like to feel "separated," though, like somehow you fell out of step with how everybody else is walking. But Cassie, you do fit. You do belong. And being monotone is boring anyway.

Hang in there, Cass. PM me anytime. We'll get through this together <3


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: and if one more thing goes wrong. - August 7th 2009, 04:50 AM

Hey Cassie,

I am so very sorry you are feeling so low but please hang in there because it will be okay. Please don't hurt yourself because you deserve to live.

Cassie, I am sorry that your mom is acting so weird but you deserve to get help with the things you asked her for; parents are supposed to help their kids out and if the don't want to that is their problem. Your mom acting this way doesn't not reflect on you at all because I believe that you are a great person.

There are people out there who care about you (your other dad for one) and they wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.

Being like everyone else is not all it is cracked up to be either; if everyone was the same the world would be so boring . Cassie you are perfect the way you are and if some people don't realize that it is their problem and not yours.

Also, please try to remember that you only have a little while before you are in college and then you can get away from your family if thats what you need/want. It will be okay.

As for the cutting; I know how hard it can be to fight and urge but I think that you can make it through the urges so please try. Cassie use the alternatives as much as possible because they help.

I hope this helped and please know that I care about you too. PM and we can get through this together.

~Jenna~


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Re: and if one more thing goes wrong. - August 7th 2009, 09:17 PM

hey cass

sometimes, it's okay to let it be all about yourself. Your mother sounds stressed. I know it's hard to have an open relationship with your parents, but the best we can all do is tough it out.


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