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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Lost_Confused Offline
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Unhappy And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 11th 2009, 04:19 AM

I just recently started liking this guy I know, and he makes me feel... like nothing I've experienced before. He's just so funny, a little annoying, but I know he's just teasing, he's kinda cute, he's got a GREAT body (it's not like I actually looked, it was at a pool party, what can you expect ) he's a lifeguard, he's only 3 years older than me, I like our little bouts of nitpicking, he's just ... awsome. He makes me feel so happy when I'm around him. And driving is helping my attitude alot as well, since I can drive now

But my mom was talking about how she thinks I'm depressed, so that set me thinking. No, mom. I'm not depressed. I have depressION. There's a bit of a difference. I think I know the difference, since it's MY body, not hers! She doesn't understand that. She doesn't want me to take medicine to help me sleep and with my depressION, but she always phrases it like I'm just depressed, and it's just a phase I'm in, and it'll just go away in a little bit. NO. It doesn't go away just overnight. Just because I can't sleep and I have depressION, doesn't mean that the cause of it is because I don't excersise a whole lot. Granted, I don't excersise as much as I need to, but I DO excersise.
She just makes it out like I don't excersise at all, and I'm just a lazy, good for nothing person who needs someone to come after me to straighten things up. And I know she thinks that of me, because I heard her say it. It was after I left the room, because she didn't want to say it to my face.But the point is, is that all the old feeling are starting to come back to me, and are starting to affect me like they did before. I'm even feeling slightly suicidal. I'm soooooo behind in my schoolwork, she's going to kill me when she finds out how far behind I am, and these guys hate my guts, while guy drama is going on, and I'm just overwelmed, overworked, sick and tired of everyone treating me like crap, and I'm tired of it!!!

...help me please..
and sorry it's so long!

Last edited by Lost_Confused; August 11th 2009 at 05:31 PM.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 11th 2009, 04:32 AM

Hey there,

wow, you've got a lot going on. I'm so sorry that your mom isn't being more understanding; I think that sometimes it's hard for parents to accept that there might be something going on with their kid like depression, because it means they can't just say "don't sulk" and ground us until it's better. It's out of their control, and that scares them, so then sometimes they react by blaming us instead. But obviously, how you're feeling isn't your fault. It might help to talk to your mom and let her know how the way she's acting affects you, and ask her for help in really addressing what's going on instead of just scapegoating it on something. Do you have a counselor to talk to? Looking into that might help as well. If you do, asking her/him for ideas on how to handle your mom's perception of what's going on might help as well.

Take a deep breath and try not to worry about schoolwork. If you're conscious of the fact that your behind and worrying about it, it most likely means that you're a good enough student that a bit of a lag won't end up being too bad. Maybe try talking to some of your teachers to explain how you've been feeling lately, however detailed or nondetailed that you're comfortable with, and ask for their help in figuring out how to get you caught up. Teachers are there to help the students anyway, not to be an obstacle to schoolwork

Guy drama can be overwhelming. But thankfully social drama does eventually end. Remember to take care of yourself while you're waiting it out. It's important to do something for you to make you smile, too, especially when other people aren't treating you as proper recognition of your awesomeness would require Little things, like making hot chocolate or painting your nails or taking a half-hour break to watch a favorite show or things like that can help a bunch.

Hope that maybe helps some. Hang in there Feel free to PM me anytime!


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 11th 2009, 03:44 PM

Quote:
If you're conscious of the fact that your behind and worrying about it, it most likely means that you're a good enough student that a bit of a lag won't end up being too bad.
I'm homeschooled, so I can't get help.
And you don't understand, I'm not even halfway through my CD, and I have two CDs. That's for my whole year. And besides that, I'm a grade behind. So I'm really far behind, and I feel like I'm drowing in schoolwork!
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 12th 2009, 05:01 AM

I feel like schoolwork often induces symptoms of drowning, even when it's at a supposedly "tolerable" level. Would it be possible for you to talk to your mom or dad or whoever homeschools you to ask for help in getting at least somewhat caught up? Asking for maybe some schedule reworking, and advice on how to balance things to get back close to where you need to be?


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 12th 2009, 04:30 PM

Quote:
Asking for maybe some schedule reworking, and advice on how to balance things to get back close to where you need to be?
Hahahahaha. My dad doesn't care, never has, my mom's always "dogging" me to get my schoolwork done, but yet she doesn't bother checking to see how I'm coming along with it, and is either always gone, or always upstairs painting.
Hah. Yeah, right.

Oh, and the guy might be out of the picture, because I'm just really confused and people are telling me different things, and I'm just lost. So I'm right back where I was before.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 12th 2009, 06:30 PM

how about you just do a little bit each day, and you'll get it done in no time.
tell your parents its important to you that they look over and take interest in your school work.

good luck.
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 13th 2009, 02:56 AM

Quote:
how about you just do a little bit each day, and you'll get it done in no time.
tell your parents its important to you that they look over and take interest in your school work.


I hate schoolwork though, how can I motivate myself to do it?
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 13th 2009, 04:40 AM

Maybe try doing something like for each homework assignment you get done, you get to do something else you like to do - spend a bit painting your nails, go for a walk, grab a snack, something like that?

And I agree with Katie - it's important that you get to speak up for you, too. How can your mom expect you to pull through on your part of the work if she isn't pulling through on hers?

Hang in there.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 13th 2009, 12:59 PM

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And I agree with Katie - it's important that you get to speak up for you, too. How can your mom expect you to pull through on your part of the work if she isn't pulling through on hers?
Who knows, she never listens.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 13th 2009, 04:14 PM

you should make her listens, if she sees that this is really important to you
she will pay attention. tell her its something you need to help you
get through it.
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 13th 2009, 06:50 PM

Quote:
you should make her listens, if she sees that this is really important to you
she will pay attention. tell her its something you need to help you
get through it.


What, the depression, or schoolwork? Because she doesn't believe me when I say I have depression. She just thinks I have the symptoms. WTF? If I have the symptoms, I'm pretty sure I have it.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 14th 2009, 05:57 AM

Talking to a doctor and then having the doctor talk to your mom might help some. Sometimes parents just need that "voice of authority" to really start taking things seriously. Or maybe you could try writing a letter to your mom? Sometimes parents are struck a bit more when their kid's actually had to take the time to write things out in order to get their attention.

Hang in there. Feel free to PM me anytime.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 14th 2009, 06:15 PM

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Sometimes parents are struck a bit more when their kid's actually had to take the time to write things out in order to get their attention.
Hahaha tried that, didn't work.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 14th 2009, 08:43 PM

there isnt a harm in trying again, she needs to know.
and i agree go to a doctor so they can tell you and your mom that you
have depression, then she will know that you need some more attention.
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 14th 2009, 09:32 PM

We can't. We don't have insurance, and we can't afford it.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 15th 2009, 12:47 AM

is there anybody else you can talk to
trusted adult, preist, neighbor?
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 15th 2009, 04:53 AM

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is there anybody else you can talk to
trusted adult, preist, neighbor?


Pfft. I don't trust anyone, and the people here don't help, and I don't know my neighbors..
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 15th 2009, 02:22 PM

i suggest someone at school, they are meant to help you and work out your problems
there isnt a harm in trying.
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 17th 2009, 02:50 AM

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i suggest someone at school, they are meant to help you and work out your problems
there isnt a harm in trying.
I'm homeschooled, so I can't.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 17th 2009, 03:02 AM

Is there any way you could talk to your doctor about what's going on, and then have your doctor help you talk to your mom?


Drown in the music,
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and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 17th 2009, 06:54 PM

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Is there any way you could talk to your doctor about what's going on, and then have your doctor help you talk to your mom?
I can't. We don't have the money to go, and we don't have insurence. My dad doesn't have a job, so we can't do much, like going to the doctor.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 18th 2009, 03:31 AM

Hmm... is there any sort of helpline you could call? I know that sometimes they can help with referrals, and they might be able to help you find a doctor or someone similar you could go to that would still work out in terms of cost and other logistics.


Drown in the music,
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and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: And so, I'm kind of lost.. - August 18th 2009, 11:34 AM

There should be plenty of places in your area that offer counseling for free. I don't know whereabouts you live, so I can't give you any specifics, but do some research and you should be able to find a few organistations willing to help out. Many people without much money manage to get the help their need- there are ways. You definitely shouldn't try to self diagnose yourself with anything, there are many things that have a cross-over of symptoms.

And there are tons of hotlines you can call. You can find them here if you want to use them. [:
   
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