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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
fml. Offline
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Unhappy FMLFMLFMLFML - August 11th 2009, 06:27 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

im gross and fat and stupid and ugly and shy and weird and critical and superficial.

im so nice to everybody(to their face) and they treat me like shit.

the only place im ever really happy is on the computer/on stickam/ talking to the people i genuinely like.

the people who i genuinely like never get a chance to talk with me except for over msn or facebook because im stuck with the people who i hangout with.

im like my bestfriends dog and she makes me do whatever she says because of our promise word. shes also rude and makes me feel like shit on the ground she walks.

I AM WHO IM NOT.

i need to go far away from here as soon as possible. i cant stand this anymore. i cant be treated like this.

im stuck. i have to move or ill be stuck until im done school, then ill be stuck going to college around here and at that point i will take a butchers knife and shove it into my forehead.

Last edited by Prozac; August 11th 2009 at 06:40 PM. Reason: added the triggering prefix.
   
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Re: FMLFMLFMLFML - August 11th 2009, 07:29 PM

I have no idea if you're Christian, or maybe you absolutely hate Christianity, but I was at this Christian concert and there was a big sign that said "God does not make junk. You are not junk" and it just made me smile. It doesn't matter how you look (I'm sure you're not gross, fat, or ugly), or how smart you are (I'm sure you're not stupid), or if you're shy and weird (they can be endearing qualities), or if you're critical (being critical can be a good thing if you use it right), and I'm sure you're not superficial. If you're nice to everyone, which you say you are, that's the main thing that matters. You don't deserve to be treated like junk by your friends, you're better than that. I suggest you try and get away from the people who take advantage of you and try to find some way to get in better contact with the people who you do really like. You should try to talk to them about how you feel upset and don't like yourself. As far as moving away goes, I'm sure you can keep pulling through school until you at least finish high school. When college comes, you can try to go to somewhere out of state-- even out of country. Or if that's too expensive and you can't be bothered going to college where you're at, you can get some money and just drive to some cities until you find somewhere you like. I know someone who went to start over fresh in some random city and took like $2000 and a friend with her and now she's living a great life. Good luck with school stuff! You are a good person and deserve better than you're getting. PM me anytime.


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Dream of me, run out free, capture your words and never let them go."

I'll see you on the other side.
   
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Re: FMLFMLFMLFML - August 12th 2009, 05:12 AM

Hey there,

welcome to TH. I'm really sorry to hear about the way that your "friends" are treating you. You have a right to demand that other people respect you, just like you're nice to them. You don't have to put up with anyone treating you like that. You're not gross, I'm sure you're beautiful, you definitely don't seem stupid, "weird" is only relative and people typically just use it to mean "not like us" as a way to make themselves feel better for being "normal" (but normal is boring ), being shy is perfectly okay, you don't seem superficial at all, and like Keeley said, sometimes being critical can be a good thing.

When your friend doesn't treat you how she should, it's okay to speak up for yourself. She's not allowed to treat you that way. And promises that don't recognize your dignity aren't valid and don't have to be kept. Promises should help take care of people, not make them neglect themselves. Is there anyway you could try hanging out with different people? Ask the people you do like to do something, try to get together with them? Or if the group of current "friends" does ask you to do something, if you don't think you'll be treated like a perfectly awesome person while you're with them, then it's okay to pass up hanging out with them.

Is there anyway you could talk to your parents about switching schools, or doing more things outside of school, so that you can find another part of your community that you are comfortable in?

Even if you do have to go to a school where you live at first, you could maybe spend the first year saving up to transfer elsewhere.

Hang in there. I know that things can seem impossible and like there's no way to get through them or for them to get better, but life somehow always manages to surprise us and get better anyway.

And if you'd ever like to talk about anything, feel free to PM me


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: FMLFMLFMLFML - August 13th 2009, 01:46 AM

Hey there,

Welcome to TeenHelp. :]

I really believe that things can change for you. I have friends who hated their social situations, but things in their life changed for them and now they are happy.

I would really suggest that you stop hanging around the people that bring you down right now. You don't need to surround yourself with that or believe that it's okay to be treated like that. You definitely deserve much better. Stand up for yourself. What you want is important :] I'm sure there are other people within your school whom you can talk to. :]

Perhaps you can look into changing schools. I know people that changed schools and that completely changed their social situation. Just having the mindset that everything is new and you don't have to deal with anything from your previous situation can be exciting. Even going to college is a different atmosphere than being in high school. Differences among people and bullying are not as big of an issue in college.

Don't at all think that there is anything wrong with you. The situation that you're in right now may not be the best fit. Sometimes it takes time for people to find the fit that's right for them. A better situation will mean a better mindset. Things will get better for you :]

PM me if you need to talk.
   
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