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This is Me - August 11th 2009, 10:01 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've got just about every problem in the book. First came the death of my parents when I was ten. Then came the depression when I was eleven. Next was self-harming when I was thirteen. And anorexia came at around fourteen. It's not full blown anorexia, I guess because I eat every once in a while. It's rare, though. And it makes me extremely sick. Fianlly, last year my best friend and boyfriend shot himself a couple days before our sixth month anniversary. I'm not a usually happy person. Right now is the best I have felt in a couple days. Which is why I'm able to put this all out there. Oh yeah. I also attempted suicide right after my boyfriend died. But I failed miserably. My older brother found me before it was too late. I don't really need any advice right now. Just thought you should all know about me before you give me any advice...

Last edited by eunoia; August 13th 2009 at 01:44 AM. Reason: Triggering prefix, removing excessively triggering details.
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eunoia Offline
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Re: This is Me - August 13th 2009, 01:58 AM

Hey there,

First of all, welcome to TeenHelp! I'm glad you decided to register and I hope you find what you're looking for here. Thank you for sharing so much with us; I know opening up can be hard, but it feels good sometimes, doesn't it?

Secondly, I wanted to let you know that moved your thread from the General Health forum to the Depression and Suicide forum. You mentioned in your post how you often feel unhappy and that you have attempted suicide, in the past, so hopefully you will get more suitable replies here.

And, of course, I know you mentioned that you weren't particularly looking for advice, but I do hope you know that's what we are here for! Whether you use the Support Forums, HelpLINK, or Live Help, we're definitely here for you.

It sounds like you've been through a lot, but you know what that means? You have lived through a lot and have survived. You're still here, today, and maybe there's a reason for that. Life is hard sometimes and things can get overwhelming, but you found the courage within you to reach out to us, here at TeenHelp, and I think if you can continue to tap into that courage, you will realize just how strong you are.

Just one last thing I wanted to mention. If you're feeling suicidal, now or in the future, and you aren't sure who to go to, remember that you are not alone. You can come here to TH or you can call a suicide hotline. Check out our list of Hotlines for a long list of suicide (and other) hotlines, many of which operate 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, for free.

Take care and don't hesitate to Private Message (PM) me if you ever need anything.

Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
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I told you to be kind
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Re: This is Me - August 13th 2009, 02:29 AM

Hey there,

I am so sorry you are feeling so low but please hang in there because things can get better with time. I know sometimes when we go through rough times it is hard to see that good times will come eventually but keep on pushing on because they will.

I am so sorry that you lost your parents and I know there are no words that I can write that will make that hurt go away but something I wanted to say was that your parents would want you to keep living and they would want you to be happy. I know that it may be hard to do at times but don't give up on being happy and maybe you could try to think of your parents and how they would want you to live life? (unless that would be too painful)

I also wanted to say sorry about your boyfriend and I know no words can make that better either. I know it might be hard to believe but your boyfriend wouldn't want you to follow down his path either. He was feeling really sad at the time and he did the only thing he thought would make it better but in the end I bet he wouldn't want you to take your life.

I am so glad that you were not successful in taking your life because you really do deserve to live life to its fullest and it can happen. I was wondering if you have anyone to talk to? A therapist, your brother, a friend, or another trusted adult? Although talking can be really hard it can be really helpful as well; do you think you could give it a try?

Finding someone to talk to can be helpful because you get all these negative emotions out in a more positive way. It can be a really hard thing to do but in the end it can bring this feeling of release or something; it really does feel good to help.

You said that you started self-harming when you were thirteen and if you still do I thought I would recommend that you try the alternatives (http://forums.teenhelp.org/f12-self-harm/t9418-alternatives-self-harm/). The alternatives are a much more positive way of expressing all of your emotions. The thing you should remember about the alternatives is they can take a while to kick in because your body has become used to using self-harm as a coping mechanism. But, don't give up on the alternatives because they really can work.

You also mentioned that you struggle with eating and I thought I would give you some resources regarding that. (http://forums.teenhelp.org/f15-eating-disorders/t232-eating-disorders-resources/) Take a look at this page and maybe you will find some good resources for what you are struggling with; its worth a try at least.

The last thing I want to do is give you some hotline numbers. The hotlines can be really helpful when you are feeling down because the people can help talk you through it and sometimes they can help you find resources in your town. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f3-general/t22-hotlines/) Check those hotlines numbers out and maybe you will find one that you like.

I hope this was helpful and please hang in there because things can get better and if you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to pm me.


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Re: This is Me - August 14th 2009, 07:26 PM

Whoa. Sounds like you've had to deal with more than even I can comprehend. I'm so sorry. It's good that you feel good right now. Hold on to that feeling.

I'm here anytime. Let me know if you need help with the site.


"No matter how bad something is hurting us... sometimes it hurts worse to let it go..."

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