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I don't want to feel this way.. - August 12th 2009, 05:37 AM

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I'm a 16 yr old girl and guys pay absolutely no attention to me. I just feel SO ugly. When I look in the mirror my face distorts and I feel fat and just completely gross. Even though people tell me I'm pretty and what not I still feel that way...especially when I'm in public, like at home it isn't that big of a deal but in public I can barely see straight because I'm so afraid others are looking at me and think I'm fat or ugly. At school it's so bad I can't really socialize I just feel completely WORTHLESS and so I come off as boring and stuck up which I am definitely not! And it's not like I don't try to look good, I wear makeup and I take care of myself I just feel like I am not good enough for anybody and even the people that everyone says are ugly I find things in them that are way better than me. Be it their nose, eyes, legs, boobs, hair, skin, mouth, teeth you name it I always find something better in others and I think "oh that's why nobody likes me, because she has this and I don't"...I just don't want to feel like that anymore..
   
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Re: I don't want to feel this way.. - August 12th 2009, 05:46 AM

Hey there,

welcome to TH! I'm really sorry that you're feeling that way; I can relate to feeling that way, though. Though giving ourselves a list of things we don't like about ourselves rarely helps. It might help some instead for you try to make a list of things that you do like about yourself. For example, when I start cringing in front of the mirror, I go back to starting off with reminding myself how I love how silver nailpolish looks on me. Really tiny, but still a start, and being confident at least in that can help me ease into being comfortable in my own skin again.

Doing that with things like "I am actually a nice person" or "I care about people" can also help with self-confidence, which can also help with socialization. You probably don't come off as boring or stuck up, though, even though it might feel that way. Doing things like clubs, where there's something to talk about or an activity to be engaged in, might also help. And when you do start to notice that you're comparing yourself other people, maybe try telling yourself instead, "I'm the only one who..." For example, "I'm the only one who has my smile," or "I'm someone who has great eyes."

But I promise, you are not worthless. Not at all. And you are not ugly in any way. Talking to your doctor about how you're feeling might help as well - there are actually some "disorders" (kind of a scary word, but all it really means is that doctors have said, "oh, we came up with a name for feeling that way") which can lead to feeling that way about yourself, but which can be addressed pretty easily.

Hang in there. And feel free to PM me anytime if you'd ever like to talk about anything


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: I don't want to feel this way.. - August 12th 2009, 05:48 AM

Thanks, but the thing is there is nothing I like about myself. Not even the tiniest thing, everything I used to like people have convinced me not to like. Idk I guess I should talk toa doctor.
   
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Re: I don't want to feel this way.. - August 12th 2009, 05:57 AM

Well, you posted here, and you're reaching out for help, so you should be proud of yourself at least for that! Not even "at least," it's a giant thing to do

Talking to a doctor often helps. I obviously can't give any actual medical diagnosis or anything, but I know sometimes things like body dysmorphic disorder and depression can lead to feeling that way, but both are treatable, so even though it can be scary talking to a doctor (actually, I think it's scarier thinking about talking to a doctor than actually doing it), doing so can really help things get better, rather than just having to push through it on your own.

And I'm positive that there are things for you to love about yourself. Even if it's that you have good taste in socks Really, starting off with things that seem completely ridiculous can really help in terms of being confident in yourself and at least can sometimes get a bit of a smile.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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